A Happy Musical Tribute to Tuesday: Wherein Harrogate Rejoins Oxymoron's Gesture

Since we're on the subject of songs we'd forgotten about, here's the perfect thing for a chilled Tuesday in November. This was long before Magnolia, friends. This was back when John McCain was in his forties. This, in short, was a long time ago.

Tuesday Musical Tribute; Or, Con-Air part the Third, wherein Cyrus "the Virus" defends the Rights of the Aboriginals.

iPhone Envy

I so covet an iPhone. And I have grown to hate Verizon.

The only question I need to ask: do I covet an iPhone to the degree I will allow myself to be economically raped by Verizon?

In order to get an iPhone, the new technological love of my life, I would need to break my contract with Verizon as I can do nothing with them until March. My phone, a PDA, needs to be replaced as it is a piece of shit (by piece of shit I mean, one, it is not an iPhone and, two, my space bar does not work). Last week I went to Verizon to replace it and they kindly told me Megs could switch her phone and but if I chose to select a new phone I would need to pay full price, which means even their customer service told me to get an iPhone. I imagine if I upgraded, to say the new touch screen Blackberry, that would not be a problem except that a Blackberry is not an iPhone.

Suggestions? (Other than get a life or do work instead of just being on Thanksgiving break).

Secretary of Education: Elisabeth Hasselbeck

Whoopi posed the following question to the women of The View today: If you had the opportunity to be part of Barack Obama's cabinet, what appointment would you like?

Hasselbeck initially responded that she would never be on Obama's cabinet. But added that if John McCain had won the election, she would like a position in education.

Sponsor Embarrassed by YCT

Texas A&M professor John Fike stepped down from his post as faculty adviser for the A&M chapter of the Young Conservatives of Texas. The reason: he is ashamed of the way the group behaves.

Following the group's anti-Obama rally where students were invited to toss eggs at a picture of Barack Obama, and after the circulation of a flier that pictured four A&M professors who signed a petition of support for Bill Ayers, Fike said that he had finally had enough. He says that the YCT's actions have, once again, embarrassed the university.

The chairman for the YCT chapter said that the group had already planned to drop Fike because he was an Obama supporter.

Earlier this year, Kanye West owned the Grammy's

Remember this: He said, "This is my house; I've set up camp here." Or something like that. Shortly thereafter, Vince Gill reminded everyone that the Grammy's are, in fact, bigger than Kanye, saying, "I was just awarded a Grammy by a Beatle [i.e. Ringo Starr]. Has this happened to you yet, Kanye?" Yes, Kanye, the Grammy's have a rich history beyond you.

Well, tonight at the American Music Awards, Kanye honored himself for "breaking new boundaries" and then announced the following:

"We will be the new Beatles!"

Vatican Forgives John Lennon

According to Reuters, the Vatican has officially forgiven John Lennon for making a statement in 1966 that the Beatles were more famous than Jesus.

The Vatican's daily newspaper observed in an article yesterday that Lennon's remark "sounds only like a 'boast' by a young, working-class Englishman faced with unexpected success."

Yesterday was the 40th anniversary of the "White Album."

Friday Night Smooth w/ Shelby Lynne

Appalled

Read this article in Self Magazine "Date rape cases still hard to win," and I bet everyone at the Situation will be as appalled as I am.

Open mouth, insert foot

A mayor of a small town in Australia has been awarded the country's yearly award for most outrageous, sexist comment for asking "ugly ducklings" to move to a remote mining town to reverse a shortage of eligible women. Here is what I want to know: does this man actually expect any woman to move to this town now?

Now that everything has calmed down, maybe Ralph Nader can get back, back , back to doing what he was best at

The Post-Election Sarah Palin Chronicles: Thanksgiving Edition

And the incompetence continues....

After following the unique Thanksgiving tradition of pardoning two turkeys, though letting the rest suffer the fate of feast, Sarah Palin gives an interview.

Yet, showing the American people how well she knows her speaking situation, Palin speaks to a reporter while workers at the turkey farm kill turkeys in the background of the interview. According to Fox News in San Diego, Palin knew what was occurring in the background but chose not to shoot the interview at another location.

And to think, she could be our V.P. Elect.



As an FYI, I am on vacation in San Diego. I mean I am at our National Conference in San Diego. It is a hard-knock life, I know, but I will move forward.

Late Thursday Night Waits

A slow couple of weeks at TRS. It makes sense that it would be at this time. No doubt we shall pick up ongodly steam again soon.

Anyway. Here's a song definitely meant to be listened to at night.

Obama the rhetorician

US President-elect Barack Obama's rhetorical skill, his ability to captivate and inspire audiences with his powerful speeches, has led some writers to describe him as the greatest orator of his generation.

Sir, will you please leave quietly?

I will allow the series of tubes to play a dirge for Senator Ted.

I Would Like To Meet His Taylor

Happy (belated) birthday, Oxytodd!

Sorry I was late, but here's a little Van Halen to make up for it:

For You, Oxymoron

Here's an article called "Dear President Obama, There are a couple of embarrassing e-mails from my past that I think you should know about" on Slate. An excerpt, to explain why I'm directing Oxy to read it:

From: Justin Peters
Date: 05/22/1996
Subject: Whoops!

hey all … my first week on e-mail and I'm already screwing it up. yesterday afternoon, I accidentally hit "reply all" and sent everyone in my address book an e-mail that I only meant to send to brad. although this was meant to be humorous, i understand that many of you found it incredibly hurtful. for the record, i don't really think that all the sophomore girls are "aspiring whores," and i certainly don't think that beth jervey is a fat and stupid hooker who never takes a shower. i also was kidding when i said those things about mrs. wenzel, beth jervey's father, and people of irish heritage. finally, i did not mean to attach that photograph of my balls. please delete that photograph asap.

Revisiting the Alvin and the Chipmunks Soundtrack

Heh.

The Tragedy of Our Lives

It is like watching a train wreck. Day in and day out. Morning, noon, and night.

Tonight during dinner, Megs and I discussed Blue's Clues, focusing on the the transition from Steve to Joe. Megs guessed correctly that the transition occurred because Steve went to college.

However, there are many questions that remain unanswered such as did Steve live alone? Where was the parental supervision? Where did Steve's brother Joe live before? How did Steve, and Joe, have the money to pay for the house and buy food? And how demented are they for talking to a shovel, a pail, a clock, a bar of soap, a side-table drawer, a salt shaker, a paper shaker, and numerous other items in the house. Why did Steve talk to these items but not mention his parents or other family members? Why can Blue, Magenta, and the Green Dog not talk but why can the Kangeroo, the Orange Cat, and Periwinkle speaking in English?

What about Steve's neighbor Miranda who is friends with Magenta? What is her story? And does she live alone? Talk to inanimate objects? Are there any other people in the town that think Steve or Joe needs to speak with the proper doctors?

I have said way too much. Hence, the tragedy.

I think to show respect, or to pity us more, our fellow rhetoricians need to share their stories.

Con-Air Part the Second: Remember This?

Now that it has been emphasized that Con-Air had the distinction of being the movie that Oxymoron and Mrs. Oxymoron went to see on their first date (clearly Oxymoron had some Rhetorically serious Dirt on Mrs. Oxy, to persuade her to go out with the likes of him).

Yea and Forsooth. Now that this Great Film has Personal value for Situationers to go with its Already Established Aesthetic Value, let us take a moment to remember this 15 second clip in which John Malkovich showed off a little acting flair of his own.

Sigh. But Malkovich, like Cusack, was brusquely snubbed by the Oscars people for his performance.

Ode to The Situation

All of the talk about theme songs led me to the belief that The Situation should have one, too. Here is my offering:

"Why Couldn't You Put the Bunny Back in the Box?": Friday Nostalgia

Simply some of the greatest shit ever, that's all.




And, Hey. If you want to get sentimental with it, what's better than money shots of Nicholas Cage, set the the music of Leann Rimes?

File Under Hypocrisy

Megs sent me this from MSNBC:

A South Carolina Roman Catholic priest has told his parishioners that they should refrain from receiving Holy Communion if they voted for Barack Obama because the Democratic president-elect supports abortion, and supporting him "constitutes material cooperation with intrinsic evil."

The Rev. Jay Scott Newman said in a letter distributed Sunday to parishioners at St. Mary's Catholic Church in Greenville that they are putting their souls at risk if they take Holy Communion before doing penance for their vote.

"Our nation has chosen for its chief executive the most radical pro-abortion politician ever to serve in the United States Senate or to run for president," Newman wrote, referring to Obama by his full name, including his middle name of Hussein.

"Voting for a pro-abortion politician when a plausible pro-life alternative exits constitutes material cooperation with intrinsic evil, and those Catholics who do so place themselves outside of the full communion of Christ's Church and under the judgment of divine law. Persons in this condition should not receive Holy Communion until and unless they are reconciled to God in the Sacrament of Penance, lest they eat and drink their own condemnation."

Let's put this in perspective, shall we. According to the priest, voting for Obama is bad when a pro-life candidate is running. However, our brilliant priest does not state that voters risk their "immortal soul" by voting for a candidate who supports an unjust war in which millions of innocent, living human beings have been slaughtered. Why, I would like to know, one sin worse than the other? Or is the War on Terror okay because "Christians" are not the targets?

The Catholic Church has a Just War Theory. The Church is against the Death Penalty. Why then do Priests not speak out against these controversial issues? I guess because there would be no one left in the pews for Sunday Services.

A Word on Entrance Music

Readers, what would your entrance music be? Yesterday Harrogate asked his students this "Question of the Day" and got several surprising answers.

One student chose this: an excellent choice indeed.


For Harrogate the answer is still what it always was and forever more shall BE.

You know, sort of like this guy.

Two Election Post-Mortems on the Clintons

CBS News reports that if the presidential election were between Hillary Clinton and John McCain, Senator Clinton would have beaten Senator McCain by 11 pts, 4 more than the spread between President-Elect Obama and Senator McCain. In a completely unsurprising finding, Senator Clinton would have done better with older voters, white voters, and women voters.

As 538 notes, the hypothetical election should be taken with a grain of salt as Clinton did not campaign and the Republicans did not campaign against her. While Clinton would have done very well in the debates, would have done well during the economic crisis, would have done better in certain regions of the country (West Virginia, Arkansas), and would have won the election, there are a few problems with this analysis.

While Clinton would have won Ohio and Florida, maybe Arkansas, Clinton would not have expanded the map. Senator Clinton's campaign would not have developed an excellent ground-game as the Clinton team lacked basic skills in organization. We do not know how the personal attacks against Hillary, and Bill, would have altered the mood of the public. We do not know how the convention would have played out-- it certainly would not have been such a grand spectacle. She would not have handled the media well and the media would not have handled her well. However, even with these unknowns, conventional wisdom, for what its worth, would suggest that almost all Democrats would have one. Well, all but Kucinich.

While I find arguing these type of hypothetical is an exercise in futility, I find this story to be entertaining for a second reason. Tonight on Countdown, Olbermann reported that Senator Clinton is under consideration for Secretary of State. This seems odd since Senator Clinton is not known for her foreign policy experience (insert Sniper joke here), she may not be the right person to handle the bureaucracy of the State Department, and if she were to be considered for any cabinet position, a position that concerns domestic policy would be a better fit for her. However, she is a more appealing choice than Senator Kerry. Of course, the good Reverend John Todd or Kucinich would be a better choice than Sen. Kerry.

But why did the Clinton as Secretary of State story develop? A post-primary compromise? Maybe. Are there any other reasons? Maybe.

On Tuesday, Politico reported that there were still hard feelings between the Clintons and the Obamas, especially over the Obama camp not doing "enough" to retire the campaign dept Senator Clinton ran up when she chose not to exit the race even though she knew she would not win. I wonder if this information is a PR move to alleviate some of the tension between the camps and heighten the importance of Senator Clinton in the Senate.

Or, was the "under consideration" information made public to reduce tensions between the Obama camp and Women's groups over the potential selection of for Harvard President Larry Summers as Treasury Secretary? Politico suggests that identity politics trumped competence, again, and Summers may no longer be favored for the position. This makes sense because of Obama's rejection of any drama. Besides, identity groups should be happy that the Gov. of Arizona Janet Napolitano, who has a very good shot of being a US Senator when Senator McCain's tenure ends, is a favorite to be Attorney General.

As Rachel Maddow just said on her program: "I can imagine Senator Clinton being a Secretary of State. I cannot imagine Senator Clinton being Secretary of State under an Obama administration." It will be interesting to see how the wounds of the Democratic Primary may or may not heal. If the relations between the Clintons and Obama are not good, why is this under consideration?

Well, that was quick

CNN reports that other GOP Governors were jealous of the Palin Experience and did not like the fact that the press conference was staged to make it seem like Palin was the de facto leader of the party.

I wonder which McCain supporter Palin will attack for these comments or how she will attack the media for the comments of the other GOP Govs.

Let the Vetting Begin!

According to CNN.com, "the Obama transition team" has sent a very lengthy questionnaire to all candidates for high-ranking positions in his (future) administration. And we academics thought our job application process was all-consuming...

More Funny Than Funny

Stop me if you have heard this one before: (with help from CNN: The Most Trusted Name in Late Night Comedy). Here I Go Again.

For the first time since being selected as the VP for the Republican Party, Sarah Palin held a press conference during which she was asked four, yes that is 4, questions. The first question concerned why she held a press conference now but not when she campaigned on the McCain- Palin ticket. She spoke words but failed to provide an answer.

Heightening the contradiction, Palin argued against hyper-partisanship. Instead she declared everyone must focus in what's best for Americ. Unfortunately, she did not state if she referred to the real or fictional America.... Hey, Gov. Palin, you had the opportunity, what did you do? What changed? Oh... you don't say.

One thing we do know: Palin is no longer wearing outfits from the RNC. Instead, she chose to receive clothing donations from Whitesnake....In the Still of the Night, Sarah Palin haunts me.

The (Post Election) Sarah Palin Chronicles

It us the interview that keeps on giving. Another snipit between Larry King and Gov. Palin:

KING: One of the most frequently asked questions I had, and I don't like to use the word "I," was, when are you going to have Sarah Palin on? And we never got a good response. It's kind of sad. Anyway, it's good to have you now.

Katie Couric, by the way, said last night that she thinks you should keep your head down, work really hard, and learn about governing before contemplating a presidential run. What are your thoughts about her saying you should learn about governing?

PALIN: Well, thank you, Katie Couric, for your advice. And I won't reciprocate in giving her any advice, that's for sure, because I have respect for her and the profession that she is in. I would have greater respect though for the entire profession called mainstream media if we could have great assurance that there is fairness, that there is objectivity throughout the reporting world.

And you know, Larry, there, too, if there is anything that I can do in terms of assisting there and allowing the credence, the credibility that that great vocation, that cornerstone of our democracy called the press, if I can help build up that credibility in the press and allow the electorate to know that they can believe everything that is reported through the airwaves and through print, I want to be able to help.

I started out as a journalist. It's that important to me that that cornerstone of our democracy is given the credence and credibility that it deserves. But we have to have a two-way street here going where reporters are fair, objective, non-biased.

We get back to the who, what, where, when, and why, and allow the viewers and the listeners and the readers to make up their own minds and not so much commentary I think being involved in mainstream media's questioning and reporting on candidates.

I would like to kind of help build back that credibility in that cornerstone of our democracy called our media, allowing for the checks and balances that government needs.

All of this comes from a person who knows little about the role of a free press in a democracy; who demonstrates that she knows nothing about the first amendment and its case law; who refused to give a full press conference as the V.P. nominee for the Republican Party; who is factually challenged herself; and who consistently lies to the public and to the reporters who interview her (and why the reporters challenge her, no one knows).

I would also love to know how Palin believes (and not thinks) the persuasion process works. She states that the media "reports" and people are helpless to make up their own minds or, even worse, she implies that they are incapable of finding other information or rejecting the information the audiences receives. So there are "real Americans," and the there are helpless automatons that fall victim to the deceptions pf the mass media. The second group could be "real Americans" but only if the media were "fair" and "objective."

I fear that the checks and balances she desires means no criticism of her for that would be unfair. I hope she never attains power to bring credibility to the press. Soon she will start arguing that G-d told her to shut down the "liberal" media...

Thursday Muical Tribute:

To the Supreme Court from Douglas Adams and Marvin the Robot: "So Long And Thanks For All the Fish."



To see the song without the graphics, and without the explanation, click here.

I attempted to ensure that "Once in a Lifetime" by The Talking Heads would be the song of the day. When the Trailers for "W" first played on the tele, Sweet Toddler J. loved the song. On a trip to a friend's house, we played the entire song for her and she continued to bob her head and sing along to the nonsensical lyrics. However, when posting this morning, Sweet Toddler J wants nothing but dolphins....

Supreme Court: "Fuck the Dolphins"

Reported by McClatchy Newspapers:

The Supreme Court ruled Wednesday that the Navy could use sonar in submarine-hunting training exercises off Southern California without heeding restrictions imposed by a lower court to protect whales and dolphins.

The high court didn't question the scientific basis of concerns about harm to marine mammals, but ruled that the Navy's need for the exercises was more important.

The (Post Election) Sarah Palin Chronicles

Though Palin hates the media, she continues to make the rounds to save her public image, speaking in code to secure the vote of the Republican base-- the Religious Right. When asked about her political future on Larry King Live last night, Palin responded:

KING: We're almost out of time. So quickly, do you pledge to the people that you will serve out your term?

PALIN: I pledge to the people of Alaska, I will do anything and everything that I can to progress the great state of Alaska. I will do what the people of Alaska want me to do.

Larry, if they call an audible on me, and if they say they want me in another position, I'm going to do it. I'm not going to -- especially here, today -- tell you, tell anybody, what some crystal ball is going to show me because we don't know what that crystal ball has within it.

And there again, there again, my hands -- my life is in God's hands. If he's got doors open for me, that I believe are in our state's best interest, the nation's best interest, I'm going to go through those doors.

Well, G-d directs state and national interests. How Blasphemous!!!

But what gets me is the loss of human agency and responsibility. There is no need for democratic accountability for it is G-d's words that guide the actions of the state. What if the demands of the people of the people and G-d conflict? Who demands should Palin follow?

On the subject of Pink Floyd covers.....

Sparklehorse, with Thom Yorke: "Wish You Were Here."

This version follows the essence of the song: this version sounds as if someone is listening to it on the radio just like the guitar track on the chords in the beginning of the "Wish You Were Here;" the beautifully haunted nature of the song; the disconnect between the different tracks of music and disconnect between the music with the lyrics; the odd guitar "feedback" as well as its separation to the rest of the music.

And Sparklehorses' version has Thom Yorke singing back-up vocals via a telephone, as well as giving us a taste of what he was watching on the tele while signing-- how Pink Floyd of him.

It's strange, we know, but this is what makes the song so damn good...

Listen here. Listen Now. Listen Often.

Our favorite gay-bashing homo is back!

Ted Haggard recently delivered a few sermons at an Illinois church. He talked about his fall from grace. The highlights include

(1) his inability to accept responsibility for his actions ("some of the things that were buried in the depths of the sea from when I was in the second grade [a sexual experience with one of his father's business associates] started to rage in my mind and in my heart"); and

(2) his criticism of Christian leaders who refused to live by the gospel, by which I suspect he means showing compassion and love ("I believe that He gives us opportunities every few years to communicate the Gospel worldwide through secular media and we consistently blow it. A Congress person in trouble, that's the time. A family member gets himself in horrible trouble, that's the time!! A preacher gets himself in awful trouble, that's the time!!!!")

My favorite is #2, especially since Haggard was always so quick to fuel hatred against homosexuals.

Happy Wednesday Musical Tribute; and a Word on Covering Great Music

Back to that famous conversation between Oxymoron, Solon, and Harrogate, on the way to the bar, discussing what is wanted, and what is not wanted, out of musical covers.

The record on which this song appears is just so awesome. Harrogate loves it so much. Perhaps some would say that bringing a country-western flavor to Pink Floyd, without harming the Greatness of the Original, is a task tantamount to bringing a Stanley Cup to Buffalo. But years ago, Luther Wright & the Wrongs proved it could be done, in what has now become a cult classic album: Rebuild the Wall.

Here's a general rule about cover songs: if they give you a renewed appreciation for the value of the original, they have done good artistic work.

Shirley Manson is a Badass

Harrogate has been meaning to post this for a couple of months, but now seems a good time, given his featuring of Garbage earlier in the week. Shirley Manson on stage with Blondie performing "Call Me," seems an odd combo, but they pull it off well.

Hmmm. Ever comfortable with his abundant raw masculinity, Harrogate celebrates the fact that this video has the Lifetime Channel written all over it.

A Crazy Wednesday Story

Chris Nolan, director of Batman Begins and The Dark Knight, is being sued (along with Warner Bros.) by the mayor of the city of Batman, Turkey--for using the city's name without permission.

The (post-Election) Sarah Palin Chronicles

(Rhetoricians, Please Don't Fear......)

Well, that settles it.

G-d is on Palin's side and s/he will let Palin know if the good and honorable Gov. will run for President in 2012. From the Times (UK):

Surprisingly, Mrs Palin didn't shy away from talk about 'Twelve'. Asked if she'd run, the answer was essentially yes, with the qualifier being that she’d do it only if God told her to. "Faith is a very big part of my life and putting my life in my Creator’s hands — this is what I always do," she said. "I’m like, 'okay, God, if there is an open for me somewhere' — this is what I always pray — I’m like, 'don’t let me miss the open door, show me where the open door is, even if it’s just cracked up a little bit, maybe I’ll plough right on through that, maybe prematurely plough through it, but don’t let me miss an open door.'"

Just think, when, I mean, "if" ("nudge, nudge; wink, wink; say no more, say no more; a nod is as good as a wink to a blind bat,") Palin decides to run, I mean G-d opens a door for Palin, that will mean she received G-d's blessing to run. And, if you vote against her, you will vote against G-d. And, if you vote against G-d, you will end up in hell, or in NYC or D.C. with all those elites who think they know more than others, such as who G-d will support in 2012.

And just think: there is no need to understand issues, such as NAFTA or the role of the government in the U.S. economy, or our political structures, such as the meaning of the first amendment or the authority and responsibilities of the Office of the Vice Presidency. Instead, Palin can gain G-d's blessing and, hence, receive the authority to cry out "Socialism" or "people do not have a first amendment right to attack me, especially if those attacks come from the press." Who needs knowledge or Constitutionally protected rights when you know what G-d thinks.

To be honest, I am quite relieved. I wondered where G-d stood on this question; it is especially more important to know where G-d stands on Palin's political future rather than helping the poor or the sick. We have no idea what G-d's position is on those two issues but I think we can be fairly certain on Palin's future.

Kairos Olbermann, Kairos

On Countdown, Keith makes an existential case against Proposition 8 in California. My question: Why now when the vote was last week?

Maybe, if you took notice of the situation, you could have delivered your message before the vote.

I'm a little bit more in love with Barack Obama now

Seriously though, I don't want to diminish the really important work that Obama and his administration are planning with the U.S. detainees in Guantanamo Bay. As Obama points out, this is a sad chapter in our nation's history. Many of these men have been detained since shortly after 9-11, and few, if any, have been charged with any crimes. It is about time someone jumpstarted the justice system for these individuals.

Happy Birthday, Devil Dogs

To honor the 233rd birthday of the USMC, I offer below media footage of the first 48 hours of basic training.

I remember all to well my first two days of boot camp, the stage referred to as "receiving." Just as the reporter says, recruits go with little or no sleep during this time. Having not slept the night before my trip to MCRD in San Diego, I was so tired on my second day that I remember nodding off (or "bobbing for cock," as the drill instructors liked to say) when I should have been filling out my tax documents.

To celebrate the anniversary of our birthday, I will spend the evening talking to former members of my supply unit on the phone, a ritual that has persisted over the last ten years.

Ooh-rah!!!



And even though he spent some time in the National Guard, Mr. P-Duck is still one of us. So Happy Birthday to you, too.

What Harrogate Is Talking About

That's right. This is, indeed, what Harrogate is talking about!

Preseason rankings, or even rankings throughout the regular season, don't play nearly as determinative a role--thank God!!!!--as they do in the world of College Football. Still, it is nice to start things out on top; it leaves open the tantalizing possibility of a wire-to-wire championship run.

Happy Monday Musical Tribute

Harrogate hopes, Readers and Board Members, that the end of the weekend finds ye well.

For a moment Harrogate broke the Seal on Christmas music, but then changed his mind and re-sealed it. When it comes, it will come a'plenty. Meanwhile, here's a tune that's been on Harrogate's docket for a while now.



"I sign my name across your chest"

Important Presidential Decisions

Gentle Readers, I believe that Mr. DeRogatis brings up an excellent point regarding a Very Important Presidential (Elect) Decision:
"Who Should Rock Barack?"

This Humble Author also Casts Her Vote for a Kanye West/Lupe Fiasco new hip-hop ballot, as these two gentlemen, among the others mentioned in this article, are revolutionizing hip-hop and returning to its more poetic and poignant roots. What better way to begin a presidency that promises to revolutionize our contemporary understandings of presidential and return it to its more poetic and poignant roots?

Supa's New Crush

While no one can really replace Harrogate in Supa's heart, she still has warm feelings for Newark, NJ Mayor Cory Booker and the way he luxuriates in the delicious diversity of this country.



Oh yeah. Maher's comment re: "They're pretty good at this. We should get another one" is awesome. :)

Quote of the Day....

"Some of the Republicans' afflictions are self-inflicted. Some conservatives who are gluttons for punishment are getting a head start on ensuring a 2012 drubbing by prescribing peculiar medication for a misdiagnosed illness. They are monomaniacal about media bias, which is real but rarely decisive, and unhinged by their anger about the loathing of Sarah Palin by similarly deranged liberals. These conservatives, confusing pugnacity with a political philosophy, are hot to anoint Palin, an emblem of rural and small-town sensibilities, as the party's presumptive 2012 nominee.

"These conservatives preen as especially respectful of regular -- or as Palin says, "real" -- Americans, whose tribune Palin purports to be. But note the argument that the manipulation of Americans by "the mainstream media" explains the fact that the more Palin campaigned, the less Americans thought of her qualifications. This argument portrays Americans as a bovine herd -- or as inert clay in the hands of wily media, which only Palin's conservative celebrators can decipher and resist."

George Will, The Washington Post

At least one conservative writer understands the process of communication unlike so many others, and the former Republican V.P. nominee, who seem to argue that the media just promotes propaganda and hence pure persuasion. This view is just contempt for ideological diversity and for democracy itself.

Saturday Night "Smooth"--and "Smooth 2"!

From a movie that permanently entered Harrogate's Top Ten movies the first time he saw it. Every time the movie is on Harrogate watches it. If he owned it he'd watch it all the time. That's why he doesn't own it.

The movie has among other selling points: top notch acting and special effects, a pulp fiction quality, an ecocritical thrust, a bottomless racial element, a romantic nostalgia for old school Hollywood, and a markedly anti-corporate sensibility. And it's fun as hell!!!

The character we feature here of course was brilliantly executed by Kathleen Turner, and immortalized one of the naughtiest lines in American film history: "I'm not bad, I'm just drawn that way." It was Amy Irving, however, who provided the singing voice the Transcendent Scene you are experiencing here.

Harrogate especially dedicates this song to Mr. and Mrs. Oxymoron, in honor of their "Smooth" and "Smooth 2" musical collections.

Saturday Morning Montage

Friday Afternoon Sublime: GOP Now Starring in Remake of Evil Dead II

Correct Harrogate if he is wrong here, Roof. But for Harrogate's money this right here represents Raimi and Campbell at their best.

And, as the Balloon Juice bloggers now show us, this clip also serves as a wonderful analogue for what is currently happening to the GOP.

Eugene Allen

A wonderful but sad story in The Washington Post about Eugene Allen, a White House Butler.

Musical Tribute Part the Second: More Indispensable Bruce!!!

It's been a Springsteen kind of day for Harrogate, as so many turn out to be. "Eyes on the Prize" is one of our most cherished songs, and this version of it reminds us why.

UPDATE: The transition at the 2:58 mark is guaranteed to make your Soul take flight.

Happy Friday Musical Tribute

Always a fun, joyous song, reflecting the gospel tradition at its most persuasive.

Bruce and Company do it justice!!!!!

An Updated No Taxation without Representation

Melissa Etheridge has issued a statement declaring that if California does not grant her the right under the constitution to marry that it extends to its heterosexual citizens she will not pay her taxes. Logistically, I'm not sure how this will work, but I applaud the sentiment. The recent defeat of Prop. 8 reaffirms something I've believed a long time: same-sex marriage cannot be a state issue. It will have to be addressed at the federal level, much the same way Civil Rights had to be addressed at the federal level.

Post Election Post from a Rhetorical Situational Anarchist

I want to write an "open letter" to Obama, but our format (and limited audience) truly preclude that, so I'll just say this to the Situationists.

If you see him, pass this along.

I have been wrestling with the corpse of my objectivity for the past month or so. I clicked over from "Obama is the best option" to "Obama is the right person for the Presidency" around the time of the "Charrr-lee" interview. I didn't mind. During the flurry of idiocy in subsequent weeks, though, I broke. My objectivity shattered, crumbles, and drifted to the floor. I won't lie: when I voted, my thought process was, "GIVE IT TO ME!!! Give me what I want!"

Soul searching and objective self-inquiry was still in play. I voted correctly. I got what I wanted and, as value added, I am certain that I wanted the right thing. But I lost myself there.

I want to be hypercritical again. I am looking forward to being disappointed that he isn't the end all, be all.

So, when you see Barack, you tell him that I say he has three months to be human.

Three months to lie, cheat, bring flowers in last month's newspapers to the Hilton Wenches (as they dawdle in the dress they are used to wear), huff paint, tear cats, take money from disreputable sources for no reason but to soil his reputation, develop "a wide stance", fart musically, squeeze the Charmin, golf in Scotland, spend time at the "poker tournament down at the rec center", put on a show to save the bikini car wash, read Ishmael, go to the Copa--Copacabana (it is, after all, the hottest show in Havana, and just generally fuck up.

Then he has to live up to his words.

Not the words which promise credulous change, but the promise that he is Kal-El.

He has to become Superman, or I call forfeit.

And (for the geeks), not "leaping tall" anything Superman. No leaping; fly! You fucking fly. And backwards so you go back in time. I want you to use your heat vision to turn lead into aluminum. Because, apparently, that's what heat does. I expect you to use freeze breath in space, somehow making it colder than zero degrees Kelvin. You wil sleep with Michelle and then arbitrarily Super-hypnotize her so that she never remembers it, and it won't be creepy. No. Not at all. You will save the Earth from a comet you heard whizz past Pluto by doing a handstand.

You will punch a wall so fucking hard history changes and new universes are formed or I'm done.

Three words: "cellophane 'O' net". You had better have one, boss.

I for one, look forward to being hyper-critical...SUPERCRITICAL!... again. I look forward to being over-dramatically...SUPERDRAMATICALLY!...disappointed in the mechanisms of leadership.

You will need android doubles.

You need to adopt Krypto. Name your dog Krypto and I'll forgive you for not going after the war profiteers , for not putting Joe-mentum in the corner for a time-out, for...

Wait a minute. You're still against gay marriage, aren't you?

There it is. THERE IT IS!

I've found your kryptonite and I can already taste the disappointment.

Three months, Superman. Then either you save the world or we'll have to. The smelly monkey mass of us.

Or my name isn't Lex Luthor.

A long-winded response to "OMFG: A Tribute to Sarah Palin"

My "too long-winded for the comments box" reply to O'Reilly's interview with Carl cameron posted earlier today by solon.


Here's "O'Reilly Logic", at its most dipshitty:

1- "The woman's not a stupid woman," she just needed to be "tutored" in current events, basic government, geography, rhetoric, the English language, American and world history, what skills, experience, or duties she is supposed to have, how to read and remember the titles of things she has had "placed in front of her", the difference between "mine" and "yours", how to take criticism, how to answer the questions she is asked rather than talking about what she wants to, that you can't subtract $150k from $20k, and so forth.

So, she's not a stupid woman; she's a standard pre-kindergartener, really.

I defer to Robert Fulgham:

Share everything.
Play fair.
Don't hit people.
Put things back where you found them.
Clean up your own mess.
Don't take things that aren't yours.
Say you're sorry when you hurt somebody.
Wash your hands before you eat.
Flush.
Warm cookies and cold milk are good for you.
Live a balanced life - learn some and think some and draw and paint and sing and dance and play and work every day some.
Take a nap every afternoon.
When you go out in the world, watch out for traffic, hold hands and stick together.
Be aware of wonder. Remember the little seed in the Styrofoam cup: the roots go down and the plant goes up and nobody really knows how or why, but we are all like that.
Goldfish and hamsters and white mice and even the little seed in the Styrofoam cup - they all die. So do we.
And then remember the Dick-and-Jane books and the first word you learned - the biggest word of all - LOOK.
Everything you need to know is in there somewhere. The Golden Rule and love and basic sanitation. Ecology and politics and equality and sane living.

Take any one of those items and extrapolate it into sophisticated adult terms and apply it to your family life or your work or government or your world and it holds true and clear and firm. Think what a better world it would be if we all - the whole world - had cookies and milk at about 3 o'clock in the afternoon and then lay down with our blankies for a nap. Or if all governments had as a basic policy to always put things back where they found them and to clean up their own mess.

And it is still true, no matter how old you are, when you go out in the world, it is best to hold hands and stick together.

It shouldn't take her more than 12 years to bring her up-to-date with most high school graduates on these "the basics."

Then, 2- He forgives her not being able to name the title of anything in the media or exhibit differentiation "all" and "some" by saying, "She didn't want ot be bogged down by a lesson before" the interview.

So:
1) She's not a stupid woman
2) She can be tutored easily
3) They knew the questions that would be asked and prepared answers and information
4) Who the fuck has time to learn?
5) {omitted}
6) This is obviously not her fault

I'm going to call it now: O'Reilly has achieved "The Underwear Gnome Paradox", which is itself an offshoot of Johnny Cochran's infamous "Chewbacca Defense":

This is Chewbacca, Chewbacca is a Wookiee from the planet Kashyyyk, but Chewbacca lives on the planet Endor. Now, think about that. That does not make sense! Why would a Wookiee - an eight foot tall Wookiee - want to live on Endor with a bunch of two foot tall Ewoks? That does not make sense! What does that have to do with this case? Nothing. Ladies and gentlemen, it has nothing to do with this case! It does not make sense! None of this makes sense. If Chewbacca lives on Endor, you must acquit! The defense rests. DAMNIT!

Damn it all to hell. I Missed it.

Remember, Remember the 5th of November.

McCain-Palin: Country First

Palin scheduled the prank call?

According to The NY Times. Wow McCain's campaign, the handlers and candidates, were terrible.

Update: Forget the Times. Read the account of the schism in the foreign press, which reports how McCain mocks Palin. According to the Guardian (UK):

An exasperated McCain has been telling friends in recent weeks that Palin is even more trouble than a pitbull. In one joke doing the rounds, the Republican presidential candidate has been asking friends: what is the difference between Sarah Palin and a pitbull? The friendly canine eventually lets go, is the McCain punchline.

What happened to the lipstick?

Meanwhile, in the World of Batshit-Crazy Ann Coulter

There's a lot of entertainment to be had from this piece of Coulter Hysterics. For example, behold:

Indeed, the only good thing about McCain is that he gave us a genuine conservative, Sarah Palin. He's like one of those insects that lives just long enough to reproduce so that the species can survive. That's why a lot of us are referring to Sarah as "The One" these days.

Like Sarah Connor in "The Terminator," Sarah Palin is destined to give birth to a new movement. That's why the Democrats are trying to kill her.

OMFG: A Tribute to Sarah Palin

Today, the Hammer dropped on Sarah Palin. On Fox News no doubt. This is the first of many "one the record" stories-- stories which reporters cold not discuss until after the election.

And the "real" Conservatives still want her for 2012. Please...



Generally speaking, the segment of American voters who support Palin may want to pay closer attention to the real world.

Here is another interview, discussing the same subject, on The O'Reilly Factor.

While some of this, I'm sure, is not on the level and the McCain camp is attempting to punish Palin to save McCain, some of it makes sense, especially considering the "joint" appearances with McCain and Palin towards the end of the campaign.

Dear Gov. Palin,

Soon my posts discussing your basic inequalities as a public servant will end. You will return to "real" American and hopefully, once there, the Alaskan voters will ensure you will not be their Governor because of your abysmal performance.

But until that time, I just wanted to let you know we are thinking of ya.'

The wild dogs cry out in the night
As they grow restless longing for some solitary company
I know that I must do what's right
As sure as Kilimanjaro rises like Olympus above the Serangetti
I seek to cure what's deep inside, frightened of this thing that I've become

It's gonna take a lot to drag me away from you
There's nothing that a hundred men or more could ever do
I bless the rains down in Africa
Gonna take some time to do the things we never had

Sincerely,

Your BFFs at The Rhetorical Situation

"Behind the Scenes" Coverage

From Newsweek: There are not too many surprises in the article, such as Obama's staff did not want Senator Clinton as VP because of Bill; Senator Clinton was closer to McCain than Obama; both Clinton and McCain did(?) not like Obama (their descriptive words are "flashy" and "callow"); McCain feared Clinton as a VO choice; Obama hates debates. When discussing the format of the debate, Obama stated:

"I don't consider this to be a good format for me, which makes me more cautious. I often find myself trapped by the questions and thinking to myself, 'You know, this is a stupid question, but let me … answer it.' So when Brian Williams is asking me about what's a personal thing that you've done [that's green], and I say, you know, 'Well, I planted a bunch of trees.' And he says, 'I'm talking about personal.' What I'm thinking in my head is, 'Well, the truth is, Brian, we can't solve global warming because I f---ing changed light bulbs in my house. It's because of something collective'."

But here is what we did not know (well, mostly):

• Both campaigns faced massive problems with technology as a foreign entity hacked into the computers systems of Obama and McCain. The FBI is investigating.
  
• Palin has zero credibility and cannot be trusted. Her shopping spree cost much more than $150,000 and extended to her entire family. This matters only because of her lengthy denials.
  
• McCain and Palin rarely spoke. (This is a save McCain piece BTW.)
• Barack and Michelle received many threats during September and October, which correlates to the periods when the McCain & Palin rallies stopped being civil.
  
• On the Sunday before the last debate, McCain's advisors debated a to whether or not they should tell McCain that the race was effectivly over and he could not win. This is about the time McCain's aids spoke to the press.
  

The slow political dath of Sarah Palin continues as does the attempts to reclaim McCain's honor.

These color-commentaries are from a longer serieson the campaign, which I suggest everyone reads. It discusses Obama throughout his campaigning and reveals anecdotes such as the sign in Obama's campaign headquarters that asked staff members to bring back shampoo from hotels so they could be donated to charity and this description of David Plouffe: "Staffers joked that Plouffe's range of emotions ran all the way 'from A to B.'"

Further, the first article discusses the Clinton campaign and reveals that Senator Clinton was quite apprehensive about running for President and she surrounded herself with fools. There is a very interesting discussion of her not wanting to leave her home for the campaign trail.

This is part of a longer series:
I. Obama: How He Did It
II. McCain: Back From the Dead
III. Clinton-Obama struggle: The Long Siege

Two Quick Things

1. WE ARE NOT POST-RACIAL JUST BECAUSE WE ELECTED A BLACK PRESIDENT. We took a lovely step in that direction, but come on! The black pundits on MSNBC said things like, "I can now tell my child they can be anything and it's true." And that's the truth. But what about half of Harlem? Can they say the same thing? Admittedly, we might be moving toward a pure class bias, but even that is so tainted by the racial history in our country.

2. And speaking of Oprah, I loved seeing her standing in the crowd last night. Not so much because of what it said about her, but because of what it says about how Obama inspires people.

Just saying...

The elections was last night and there were no terrorist attacks today.

One for one so far.

Tom Toles

Colin Powell's Reaction

to last night's election at CNN.

Gov. Palin Bids us a Fond Farewell, Reaches Out to President-Elect Obama

"If I cost John McCain one vote, I'm sorry," she said.

Wednesday Musical Tribute, and a Shoutout to M, Paperweight, and Wild Man

A night of contradictions

While I am filled with an overwhelming sense of optimism after last night's presidential election, I find that optimism is rather bittersweet. It was, it seems, a night of contradictions. As Paperweight pointed out, the abortion ban was overturned in South Dakota; in Colorado, voters chose not to define life at the moment of fertilization; and in Michigan, voters decided for the medicinal use of marijuana and increased stem cell research. All of these are good things, in my mind. But in California, it is looking increasingly like Prop. 8 will pass. As Solon has already said, this should be a reminder, that despite the progress that was made last night, we still have a long, long way to go towards equality in the United States.

Political Inheritance

As M has so aptly pointed out, this is a new day for us and for the next generation. Obama as president has me feeling hopeful--something I haven't felt regarding politics for a very long time (or at least through two Bush terms). However, I worry about the country that Obama is inheriting. Let's face it, the country is a mess. The economy is tanking. The military is stretched thin. None of these problems have easy fixes. And, as I type, Bush continues to work on some of his pet projects underneath the radar (mining issues, endangered species issues, etc), thus creating new problems for the new president.

Yes, Obama has earned himself an honorable place in the history books, but here's hoping he can now live up to the promise of change.

Obama's Ground Game

It wins him North Carolina. See Ambinder.

A new chapter in their history books

As a teacher, an academic, and a parent, here is one thing I find most exciting about the historic events of last night: Supadisco-T, Wild Man, Oxy-Toddler, Sweet Toddler J, P-duckling, Lion Cub, and the Woof Almighty will all have a new chapter of American history to learn about. One that I, as a scholar of African American literature, honestly wondered if I'd see in my lifetime. I am so excited about what we can tell our children now, Situationers, so excited.

Good lines about the election

Mark Tushnet

:Well, apparently, given the choice between a socialist and a whatever, Americans prefer the socialist.

And by the way, Governor Palin: Being President of the United State is, I don't know, maybe something like being a community organizer for the entire country.

Tom Watson:

"'Hussein' is pretty much like 'Delano' or 'Fitzgerald' or 'Baines' or 'Jefferson' now, wouldn't ya say?"

Um....

So what does everyone do today?

Proposition 8 in California

Proposition 8, which takes away the rights of gays to marry, will pass. It is a close vote but results show it will pass 52 - 48.

Even on a historical night, the fight for rights for all American continues slowly.

Must not sleep...must warn others

Now I'm afraid to go to bed unless I miss something.

I don't want to wake up in any world but the one I'm in now.

"High Hopes" By Pink Floyd

Harrogate rode Pink Floyd hard down the homestretch of this election, and a lot of the songs were dark as hell. It is fitting that their most optimistic song of all, "High Hopes," off of the much-underrated Division Bell album, would be Harrogate's closing post of election 2008. He hopes his fellow Board Members take a moment and feel this wonderful song.

This Is What Democracy Looks Like

Final Tally

If President-Elect Obama runs the table, he will win 379.

I will say 376, missing Montana but picking up Missouri, Nevada, Indiana, North Carolina, and one electoral vote from Nebraska.

The John McCain we've been missing recently

I think this is the John McCain we've been missing in the past few weeks--the honorable guy who seemed to be struggling with every attack he made against Barack Obama. His concession speech proves he is a decent guy.

The Post with No Name

I'll look for video tomorrow, but MSNBC just focused a camera in on Jesse Jackson in a crowd of cheering Obama-supporters in Grant Park, slowly beginning to cry. And they just held it.

It may have been the most moving thing I've seen Jackson do.

Ooh. McCain's talking now...

Cynicism tomorrow

It is safe to say . . .

landslide. I have never been prouder to be an American than I am at this moment.

If you are keeping score

Colorado and Virgina go blue. Two more red states. With Florida, North Carolina, and Indiana to go.

Correction: MSNBC reports Colorado, Virgina, AND Florida went for Senator Obama.

284

I don't know what else to say.

Technology

I've been thinking about this for a week, but didn't want to jinx it by posing the question online. But now...

How will an Obama White House use technology differently? I mean, will I be getting texts from 1600 Pennsylvania Avenue like I get them from Chicago? Will there be a presidential page on Facebook? A presidential blog?

Any thoughts?

New Hampshire....

Senator Obama after the New Hampshire primary in January.

"For when we have faced down impossible odds, when we've been told we're not ready or that we shouldn't try or that we can't, generations of Americans have responded with a simple creed that sums up the spirit of a people: Yes, we can. Yes, we can. Yes, we can.

It was a creed written into the founding documents that declared the destiny of a nation: Yes, we can.

It was whispered by slaves and abolitionists as they blazed a trail towards freedom through the darkest of nights: Yes, we can.

It was sung by immigrants as they struck out from distant shores and pioneers who pushed westward against an unforgiving wilderness: Yes, we can.

It was the call of workers who organized, women who reached for the ballot, a president who chose the moon as our new frontier, and a king who took us to the mountaintop and pointed the way to the promised land: Yes, we can, to justice and equality.

Yes, we can, to opportunity and prosperity. Yes, we can heal this nation. Yes, we can repair this world. Yes, we can."

I Heart Michelle

Michelle Obama will be the most badass first lady!

Goin' Rogue

Anyone else dying to see Sarah Palin's 2012 campaign speech... I mean, concession speech?

Spike Has Arrived

FYI Spike Lee is in Grant Park

A Post Dedicated to Solon and Megs!!!

I tip my hat to you guys.

The Political Realignment

The problem tonight is that some good, moderate GOP members of Congress are loosing.

Look at a map: the GOP is a regional party now. It exists mainly in the South, a little in the mid-west. It has no power in the Northeast or in the West.

Tensions will run high between the GOP and the Dems. The Dems will need to win as many seats as possible to avoid problems.

For the Country, the wrong group inside the GOP has been punished. The extremists inside the GOP will survive.

OK

What is quite fascinating here is that the South Dakota abortion ban was defeated; Colorado rejects defining fertilization as the start of life; Michigan looks to be moving towards stem cell research from left over fertilized eggs and the use of medicinal marijuana.

Breaking News

Oprah has arrived at Grant Park. Just thought you should know.

Thank You, Iowa

Iowa just went blue. Victory in Iowa is sweet--and bubbly!

Lest We Forget the Little People

The Dems are cleaning up in Congress. Let's hear it for the likelihood of a filibuster free future!

Arizona: too close to call

Even superstitious me can feel a bit reassured by that--if McCain can't even carry his home state. . .

One More State, PLEASE!

I'm finally feeling confident about Obama's victory, after weeks of paranoia. But solon says we can't pop the champagne until one more red state turns. Pray for another state, bloggers, pray.

On the serious, this is a really moving night, isn't it? I remember seeing Obama's convention speech in 2004 and feeling so inspired. solon and I were in on the ground floor of this thing and I can't believe it's actually happening.

The future's so bright.

Migraine, Early Returns, and Anxiety

So my students are following this election much closer than any of my American students followed any election, and tonight of all night I went to bed a 7 with a migraine. I just woke up and had to drag myself out of bed to see some of the returns. Needless to say, I'm quite pleased with the results so far, but being a superstitious person, I'm a bit anxious by early returns. I know Solon is poised to explain how such returns are valid and typically accurate (and for the record, Solon, I don't actually need an explanation!), but honestly, I'd rather all the media outlets would just wait to offer predictions--especially considering that the polls are still open in the West Coast.

Come on North Carolina, do Harrogate Proud!!!

It's about style points now. Harrogate wants NC to turn blue. Badly.

Obama, Hyde Park, and Pragmatism

At Slate, a very good read to understand the insight of our next President.