Some Reflections

I know I have been talking with a few you folks about my experiences with the job search. For those of you who don't know I had ridiculous amount of interviews during this years job search--I should preface this by saying I was not picky about where I applied so there was tremendous variety. Part of the reason I did this, was the fact that I had been through this before last year, while I was ABD at which time I had some interest in my work but nothing came of it--so to my ABD friends on here don't fret it if it does not pan out on the first go around, you all will get the props you deserve when degree is in hand--but I had the bulk of the materials together (again thanks Solon and Southpaw for a bit of help on the job letter) so I just shoveled the information out; I also sent things out very, very early to avoid excessive mailing costs and I sent everything electronically when I could. In hindsight I think my eagerness to apply to any and every job was an utterly stupid idea. For one I never realized how damn difficult it actually would be to have 13 conference interviews followed by 8 campus invites (I did not go to 3, 1 of those if you recall was the CA trip that was terminated that left me a free ticket, 2 I turned down once I received my 2 job offers). I basically spent all my time prepping and traveling (the joke that is). I did not realize how much actual research/work I would not be able to do, nor did I realize how far behind and horrible my classes would turnout to be (a couple of my courses I did not see my students for 3 1/2 weeks). But I guess, as I have been repeatedly told by my colleagues) the job stuff is ok considering that things were on the out at my current institution, despite what guilt I feel for not being an effective teacher.

Despite their reassurances this is still a tough pill to swallow because I do not feel that I have done my job as I should, and likewise, how can I fairly grade my student's when I have not been around to effectively evaluate their performances and give them proper feedback (I still have exams and papers that I'm grading that I received at the beginning of April and finals are in 2 weeks). How do I compensate for this in my grading; do I bump all my class grades up? How can I scold them and stick to the attendance policies (3 days missed letter grade deduction, 6 fail the course) concerning their excessive absences when I have probably missed 6 or 7 days of class if not more? How can it be ok that I missed this much as a result of my job search (which turned out be very successful) when I have not necessarily delivered on the product that my students (ok, their parents) paid for?

There is much more I could say about the whole interview process and the unethical questions that are asked that should not be like: are you married (maybe I'm a homosexual is that ok?); oh what does mrs. weight do (like I can tell you she is an academic too and expect to get a call back); oh you have a lite-weight as well (oh no one has kids here, guess I'm not getting that job either); oh who are you voting for (never mind I just told you that I'm a card carrying member of the NRA)? I know the flip side to this is that they are looking for people that will fit but these questions are not appropriate. But I'm still having issues about what I have put my 200 students through this semester and how it makes me feel as an educator.