Thursday, October 16, 2008

I was a Teenage Lipstick Vegan

Apparently, I spent a much of my undergraduate years as an accidental vegan.

Who knew?

PETA knew.

Cereal with no milk? Check.
Cheap Bac'n'Pieces? Check.
Sandwich cookies? Oh, check.
Brach's candy? Yep.
The list goes on.
(Please find your own favorite ostensibly meat-themed item which made the list).
They call it veganism, I called it "stoned" or "lazy" or "poor."

It seems only fit that, if McCain can call himself a renegade, if Palin can redefine herself as innocent, and a sometimes dismayingly Mo'R Obama can credulously be called a radical Arab, then it is time that I rebrand as well.

Ladies and gentlemen, based on the most authoritative and unbiased sources: I am a reformed vegan.

And you can't deny it, because what is "health" anyway?

1 comment:

Oxymoron said...

Congratulations, Roof. I knew that you--at one time, at least--cared about all of God's creatures.