Friday, January 30, 2009

Britney Spears and Situational Rhetoric

Watching Bill O'Reilly last night, Harrogate learned about Britney's new song: "If You Seek Amy." Heh.

And a few Google searches since then shows that already, the song has the political Right screaming bloody murder. This is of course nothing compared to what is coming; it will not surprise Harrogate in the slightest if White House Press Secretary Robert Gibbs winds up having to field questions about Spears' song.

Harrogate is no Libertarian, as ye all know, but he is enough of one to be a pure hater of the FCC--an organization which routinely winks at Media Consolidation but which remains angry at Janet Jackson and Justin Timberlake. Thus, it is not so much on the merits of artistry or cleverness, but rather due entirely to the Rhetorical Situation at hand, that Harrogate declares Spears' song positively delightful, and pledges to buy the record at the nearest possible opportunity.


The Roof Almighty said...

You know what would have made this song better?


Yes, it sounds like a computer who wants to fuck me (PLEASE INSERT YOUR FLOPPY DISK IN MY MOTHERBOARD FOR A BACKUP---MODEM SCREECH!), or is at least willing to lazily take it (ABORT RETRY CANCEL), and it's sung by a depressive redneck whose biggest claim to fame is being sullied, but the lyrics are all over the place.

"But all of the boys and all of the girls are begging to If U Seek Amy" Well, that makes no goddamn sense. I get the spelling thing, but it isn't a "joke", it is just spelling.

It is equivalent to "I look at you with a telescope so that i can see, oh, see Kay! Yes, I can see you in tea!"

Lucy in the Sky with Diamonds it ain't.

So, OK, its an acrostic song. I've been a rap fan long enough to put up with a GiftedUnlimitedRhymesUniversal (GURU) or a Goodie M.O.B.B. or a swass.

So, then, what does this mean: "Oh baby baby if u seek Amy tonight...we’ll do whatever you like"

Is that
a) Her talking like'ah dah Mario offering to let you "fuck'ah" her indecisive form, or
b) She'll hang out with him till they find Amy? ("If [they] see her")

Is she Amy? Does she know what she's saying? How do you put a floppy into a harddrive? Wouldn't that require a RAM upgrade? Can't I just poke my keydrive into her You iS a Bee port and download my date stream? Are you proud of this song? Are your interchangable children? Why are you singing into an oscillating fan? Can Amy sing better than you.

The I'll wait for her, skank.

harrogate said...

First off, hahahaha!

Second, largely agreed, especially as far as your comments on the lack of lyrical merit.

Except that, whether intentionally or not, it does constitute a fuck you to the FCC and to the self-proclaimed moral watchdogs.

And that, at this moment, is something Harrogate appreciates.

The Roof Almighty said...

It's an If You only in as much as there was an article a few weeks back quoting several station owners who declared that they refused to play the song without the FCC because the lyrics poorly spell a dirty word.

I want a famous person named Fuck. We're one running back or physician named Fuck Johnson away from linguistic freedom.

Look at what >>>>DICK<<< Cheney did for the word "fascist douche bag."


harrogate said...

Harrogate is not surprised that the DJs are putting tails between legs, if indeed they are. But he asks, if anyone hears this song on the radio station they are litstening to, please report this happy event to TRS.

And true. Not an FU but an IF U. But indeed, Roof, as the great K-Fed might have PutItInAnother context: "baby steps, baby steps."

AcadeMama said...

Happily, I've already heard it on the radio, and it was indeed a catchy little number. No "Womanizer", but true to Brit-Brit's style.

Harrogate will be pleased, possibly, to find here

that not only are parents and the FCC outraged, but DJs everywhere are NOT tucking their tails between their legs. They're inserting their own names to make it sound like George, Jazzy, or Coolio will be doing some fu*&ing.

I am, like Roof, disappointed in it all. I can take the robot-whore-like voice and nonsensical lyrics. What I don't like is not knowing if this song is about some girl-on-girl bidness. Do we have another little Lohan on our hands? Has Brit been in the closet? If so, that would really clear a lot of shit up, you know?

harrogate said...


Dont get Harrogate wrong. The outrage does not please him. It does annoy him insamuch as he thinks the outrage horribly misplaced--or put another way, very much besides the point of parenting.

As for the the Corporate Sycophanting FCC, no pleasure in its "outrage" either. Hmmm. How can Harrogate be any clearer than to say FUCK THE FCC AND EVERYTHING IT PRETENDS TO STAND FOR.

Now, the thing ye say about the DJs, that is interesting for those of us who still insist that Humanism has some good in it.

One of Harrogate's personal favorite archetypes is the free-spirited DJ who wont cater to the dictates of "The Man." A silly and ultimately false archetype? Perhaps. But still an archetype with a lot of cache. Check out the DJ's brief but glorious stint in the Stepehn King novel, The Stand. (Speak true, Roof. Is that DJ not a badass American literary character?)

All of which puts Harrogate in mind of a Tom Petty song that may or may not be forthcoming on TRS in the near future.

Harrogate btw would here offer the disclaimer that he does not think Spears' voice sucks as bad as other Board Members do. For what it is worth, he thought "Baby Hit Me" very very well sung, and on the level of the voice, liked "Womanizer" much more than, say, Solon did.

Amy Reads said...

Can Amy sing better than you.


Amy (Reads)