Some Thoughts on Big Love: In Which are Also Featured Pictures of Daveigh Chase (Rhonda Volmer) and Matt Ross (creepy Alby)

As Big Love moves into the homsetretch of its second season, Harrogate has come to realize he has perhaps never been so fascinated, nor quite so disturbed, by a television program. While this is not the time to fully disquisit on the subject, using details, citing academic sources and the like, here are a few evaluative tidbits.

What really gives this show its wings is the top-flight quality of the acting. Across the board, every damned character is being brought out with extreme vividness. And best of all, this quality of acting, combined with the remarkable roundness of the characters, makes it almost impossible to get comfortable with how one feels about a given character. Harrogate likes that, in narrative. He likes it a lot.

Featured in This Post: The scheming, detestable, and yet thoroughly, tragically victimized Rhonda Volmer. Played by singing-phenom Daveigh Chase (depicted above), Rhonda has become something of a cult figure for You-Tubers and on the internet more generally. Which by the way is perfectly understandable, indeed precisely as it should be.

The first clip Harrogate provides here is an "Ode to Rhonda," of sorts, pretty funny in Harrogate's estimation: produced by an anonymous member of our thriving internet democracy.

The second clip briefly exemplifies something else: this woman is sporting one of the most amazing voices Harrogate has ever heard, period. This past Monday's episode closed out with Chase singing "The Happiest Girl" (also, fittingly,the title of the episode): her performance helps catapult the last three minutes of the episode into the kind of sublime, spine-tingling experience one rarely associates with television (Monday Night Raw being an obvious exception).

Sadly, Harrogate has not yet found a link to those final moments of "The Happiest Girl": But when he does, oh Readers, verily shall the clip be delivered into thy hands.

Until then, be tided over with her spooky Carly Simon cover.

How To Wave The Bloody Shirt With Verve: "The Two Things to Know Before Your City is Nuked By Terrorists"

Harrogate was unwinding with a little right wing punditry when he encountered this stunner by Douglas Mackinnon.

In what follows Harrogate provides the article's opening and its conclusion. He wishes he was currently prepared to offer commentary and analysis, but right now he's just sad and doesn't know what to say. Right now, more than anything, Harrogate just feels like it's important that people read this article and know that it exists, that this kind of stuff is being routinely distributed into the contemporary American soul.

What do we make of it all? What can we do?

Anyways, here is how the piece begins:

Tragically, horrifyingly, but quite predictably, it’s going to happen. The only question being which American city or cities?
In a recent conversation with a former high level intelligence operative of our government, I raised the possibility of terrorists successfully detonating a nuclear weapon within the United States. His response was sobering in its hopelessness.

MacKinnon closes with a Rhetorical Haymaker:

[the anonymous, and therefore unaccountable source] talked of critical infrastructures like water, electricity, fuel, banks, our food supply, medical services, police and firefighters, being unavailable for weeks or months. He warned of the blind panic that would follow such an explosion. Of the looting, of neighbor turning on neighbor to take what they don’t have for their own survival. Of our economy suffering an economic loss in the trillions of dollars.
Knowing this, are you prepared? Can you and your family ride out the frighteningly unpredictable weeks or months following the loss of an American city and its inhabitants? If you are not in the city hit, can you survive?
You must ask yourself this question. For, unless there is a miraculous epiphany about to be visited upon our self-centered politicians, then such an attack is certain.
If our politicians and the voters continue to suicidally put party and partisan politics before the welfare and security of our nation, then the terrorists will find the opening to hit us.
Our government and media are failing us. Prepare for the worst.

Congratulations to Barry Bonds

The world is a little different today. By far the most hallowed record in all of American Sport has been shattered. The Great Henry Aaron has been passed, there is a new Home Run King. Harrogate would so much have loved to have been there, to have witnessed history live.

What a great picture of Barry Bonds, even void of context. But then when you add context (what's a Rhetorical Situation without context, after all?), the picture exudes joy. After all this guy has accomplished, and all he has been through. After all the terrible pitches, the intentional walks, the might-as-well-have-been-intentional walks, and the insane infield shifts he has seen through the years.

There he stands, all melts away. A testament to human achievment. He is at home, thank God, in San Francisco when he hits it. Those who have stood unwavering by him for so long. It just wouldn't have been right had he done it somewhere else.

Funny. Harrogate wrote this whole long diatribe outlining exactly why all the naysayers and bashers are morons, but then he remembered. This isn't about jealous bedwetters like Dale Murphy, souless beauracrats like Bud Selig, or the seemingly endlesss supply of pencilneck whiners who call themselves sports journalists.

This is about the man who is unquestionably the single greatest baseball player of this generation, and in all probability the greatest baseball player who ever played the game. Period. It is Bonds's moment. Hats off to him.

A Cartoon by a Conservative, but True Nonetheless

The cartoonist is right. Actually, both ought to be designated "Art." Because like the cartoon and like this post, that is what they are.

Anyways, now out on bail, Harrogate slowly ekes his way back into the blogging business. Patience, folks. He'll get there. And when he does he won't take American Express.

If you could ask a question...

I watched some of the You Tube debates last night- up until Big Love started. Up until now, I avoided the debated because the election is so far away. I was a little curious about the format and because it would not have been as scripted (the candidates had some idea of what questions that would be asked so a debate can never be unscripted-- and it may be bad if it were) but this debate still possessed the same problems as other debates: (1) not enough time to respond to respond to the question or to the other candidates-- essentially to debate and (2) there is a lack of depth because there are too many types of questions-- why not have one debate on Iraq or maybe foregn policy and then another debate on domestic issues, economic issues, or social issues.

But- if were to submit a question for a debate (the Republican debate is in September), what question would you ask?

Humor for today

I watched this over at crookedtimber.org. It is entertaining:

With what level of economic exploitation....

...are you comfortable?

My wife and I watched Blood Diamond last night. It is a good movie, with an interesting point. One criticism of western style capitalism is that it pushes economic exploitation into third world countries. While there is little economic exploitation in the United States (there may be some with immigration and a low minimum wage, but these can be serious topics for debate), the economic exploitation that should be in the US is now in other countries.

For example: criticism against Wal-Mart is that it sells very cheap products that it gets from foreign nations, especially China. Since the cost to make the products is so low, the store can pass that savings on to the consumer. In the process, the people that make the products receive very little for their work, hence the economic exploitation. But people in the United States are either (1) not aware of this portion of the free market equation or (2) do not care because the prices are so low. (At one point the giant retail store mainly sold products that were made in America but that was not economically viable for a large chain that aims for the lower classes.)

In Blood Diamond, the story goes that because there is a demand for diamonds (people in the west want them for their engagement rings and other forms of fancy jewelry), that countries fight for the ability of mine and sell them. In this economic process, Civil Wars emerge in Africa to wet the appetites of the West. (There is also a sub-plot that major diamond outlets in the West do not meet the demand for diamonds by keeping the diamonds in storage so as to artificially raise the price of the stone. By keeping some diamonds off the market companies can charge more for the diamonds which are on the markets-- there is more supply available but it could ruin the profit).

And yet, with Blood Diamond, there not a rejection of buying diamonds but a
"realistic" call to action- demand that consumers buy conflict-free diamonds, which would be similar to clothing lines advertising that the clothes are not the product of child-labor.

But this post raises the simple question: how much economic exploitation are you willing to allow in the marketplace in order to fulfill your lifestyle?

This would include clothing (shirts, pants, shoes), technology, food (soft-drinks, especially in plants are in South America, which may not let workers unionize), and shelter?

Damn you Walt Whitman II

My wife, daughter, and I attended the house where Walt Whitman was born but we did not go to the Walt Whitman shopping center across the street. I am sure he would endorse that center if he were alive today.

My wife would like it to be known that she breast-fed on Whitman's front lawn, behind a tree. We are quite sure he would enjoy that as it afforded both an earth-mother vibe and public nudity.

Interesting facts:
The ghost in the armoire: Rumor has it that there is a spirit in the house though it resides in a cabinet in the birthing room. Every once in a while, the armoire shakes without reason. It appears as if modern science has not made its way inside the home.

Sleep tight; don't let the bed bugs bite: Older beds had rope for a mattress (think hammock). Before you went to sleep you would tighten the bed. About the bed bugs, you would use hair from a horse's tail to prevent being bitten.

Whitman's voice: there is a recording of Whitman reciting his poem "America." He has a very rich, deep voice to match his large, burly frame. The inflections were very old-fashioned.

May lead to an increase of glambling

In the past few days, I have seen a few commercials over and over. One is for Miraplex, which is a medication to cure restless leg syndrome.

At the end of the commercial, the company offers a few disclaimers. One line states, "If you you have an increased urge to gamble, for sexual activity, or other strong urges, please consult your physician."

An increase urge to gamble from medication?

"Damn you Walt Whitman!!!"

My wife and I ill be heading to the birth place of Walt Whitman either today or tomorrow. In honor of one of America's greatest poets, here is a tribute to Whitman by Allen Ginsburg.

"A Supermarket in California" by Allen Ginsberg

What thoughts I have of you tonight, Walt Whitman, for
I walked down the sidestreets under the trees with a headache
self-conscious looking at the full moon.
In my hungry fatigue, and shopping for images, I went
into the neon fruit supermarket, dreaming of your enumerations!
What peaches and what penumbras! Whole families
shopping at night! Aisles full of husbands! Wives in the
avocados, babies in the tomatoes!--and you, Garcia Lorca, what
were you doing down by the watermelons?

I saw you, Walt Whitman, childless, lonely old grubber,
poking among the meats in the refrigerator and eyeing the grocery
boys.
I heard you asking questions of each: Who killed the
pork chops? What price bananas? Are you my Angel?
I wandered in and out of the brilliant stacks of cans
following you, and followed in my imagination by the store
detective.
We strode down the open corridors together in our
solitary fancy tasting artichokes, possessing every frozen
delicacy, and never passing the cashier.

Where are we going, Walt Whitman? The doors close in
an hour. Which way does your beard point tonight?
(I touch your book and dream of our odyssey in the
supermarket and feel absurd.)
Will we walk all night through solitary streets? The
trees add shade to shade, lights out in the houses, we'll both be
lonely.

Will we stroll dreaming of the lost America of love
past blue automobiles in driveways, home to our silent cottage?
Ah, dear father, graybeard, lonely old courage-teacher,
what America did you have when Charon quit poling his ferry and
you got out on a smoking bank and stood watching the boat
disappear on the black waters of Lethe?

Berkeley, 1955

Divine Intervention and Inspiration in Big Love

On the last episode of Big Love, there were two very interesting religious themes in the episode.

First theme: ho one religious group believes that another religious group is "cult-like." The second wife, Nikkie no longer wanted her son to attend a Catholic school after the school gave the son a Crucifix and the son played with it like he would any other toy. Rather than try to understand the religion, Nikkie just attacked Catholicism for its pagan rituals and belief structures, which is similar to how other members of the LDS, as well as other religions, view The Compound. This seems to be a problem with almost every religion. If you read the Supreme Court Case Santa Fe Independent School System versus Jane Doe, according to the facts of the case, a teacher in the school system told a Mormon student that the student belonged to a cult and not a religion (and therefore could not attend a Baptist revival.)

Second, and more interesting, Bill thought about taking a fourth wife and inviting her to live the principle. (One of the best lines in the episode was when a male friend of Bill's stated that that you could help it when you were "Sucker Punched by the Holy Spirit.") So far, Bill has not taken the fourth wife.

But this plot device raises an interesting question about divine intervention. The men on big love claim that it is inspiration that causes them to take another wife. However, only the men receive that inspiration. When the youngest wife, Margie finds out about Bill "dating" and meets the women in question, she tries to help Bill pursue the girlfriend because she believes that she is inspired to do so by the Holy Spirit. At first Bill denies that is the case, but Margie establishes that she too could feel the inspiration of the Holy Spirit. Bill could not respond to that point in any adequate way. Yet, this confrontation between Bill and Margie seems to call into question the patriarchal society in which the family lives.

This seems to be an interesting discussion of faith, and a better plot device, than has occurred in recent other episodes.

It does leave the viewer with one major question about religion: how do you know when your faith is speaking to you? What are the consequences for the individual and the community in larger society.

This could be problematic for many reasons. Recently, a man from Houston, Texas killed a gay man. The killer stated that he acted after 1,000s of hours studying the Bible. He believed he was doing the right thing and G-D told him to do this.

When I lived in Texas, I heard a story about Jury duty whereby one juror wanted to convict the defendant because the juror prayed about it and G-D told him that the defendant as guilty.

How to lose your mond in 30 hours or less...

Recently, my wife and I moved from Texas to the New York City area. I drove; my wife and daughter flew. I left on the tenth and arrived on the telfth. My wife and daughter flew out and arrived on the thirteenth.

Highlights (or lowlights) from the trip:

1) Some where in North East Texas (while trying to reach Route 20) I ran over a turtle. I thought it was a leaf on the road. As I loked at it, I drifted a bit, realized it was a turtle but it was too late at that point. Sadly, my wife also killed one on a trip to Houston early in the week.

2) I do not know how I arrived to NYC. On the trip I noticed that my tires were low and needed air. Yesterday, one tire was almost completely flat. That tire contianed a nail and I needed to get a new one. Another tire has a gash in it (maybe from the turtle) and I need to get a new one tomorrow.

3) Surprisingly, I did not listen to my Ipod for the entire trip. Instead, I listened to AM radio only. (Though, for about two hours, I listened to an old tape made from songs that aired on WBER in Rochester, NY. The songs were from the late nineties, early oughts. The highlights from trip:
(a) Somehere around Birmingham, Alabama (which doesn't surprise me), a Christian Radio station allowed a women to discuss why true Christians should not read Harry Potter. Roughly, the argument is that the books are bad (because it features witches and wizzards whom are alays bad and pagan and good Christians cannot read anything that invovles Pagan images because it takes away from the message). it seems that those against Harry potter are not familiar with inoculation theory and would rather have people avoid it than try to understand it or deal with it. In terms of argumentation, it seems that these people would use inventional techniques from the bible and evangelical cultures and, beacuse of this, ould fail to persaude the larger culture. Rhetorically, it seems incest for arguments.

(b) I agreed with some Bill O'Reilly said. Luckily, I forgot what it was. Also, he attacked the San Diego Padres for hosting two promotions at one time: one was for gays and lesbians and another gave little kids hats. He said it was inappropriate for the Padres to do both at the same time. Though he is not anti-gay, it seems he just does not want them to have a public life. One caller challenged him on the fact that gays and lesbians are people too and what difference does it make. He said "Do you your children to see it... Do you ant to explain it to your kid." So it is okay to be gay but not in public.

On a side note. When the HSBC arena in Buffalo opened years ago, I went to a game against the Flyers. Throughout the night, the jumbotron showed to very attractive girls sitting next to one another. From the looks of it, they drank heavily throughout the game. The first time the camera man got them on the jumbotron, they waved, suggestively. The second time, they hugged. The third time: they stood up and they kissed. The cameraman dwelled on it for a few seconds and then turned to something else. The crowd applauded while the women kissed.

c) I listened to Hugh Hewitt for the first time. His ploy was to play out of context clips of the Senate discussion over Iraq and then asked soldiers how they felt over the comments. One thing I have always wondered: If the US has the finest fighting force in the world, then would discussions of how poor the Iraq war is going affect the troop morale? Either the first or second part is not true. Somehow, I would suggust it is the second.

d) Hannity seems to be the least intellectually honest of those that I heard. For example, on today's show, a caller stated that he taught college debate from a consertvative point of view and because of this they did well in tournatments. Now, I have taight debate many times and never realized it was possible to teach it from either a conservative or liberal point of view. The purpose of teaching debate is to teach invention, arrangement, style, delivery, and memory and not which ideological standpoint is True. But, Hannity seemed pleased that a professor "Hannitized" a student (one of the prof's students was liberal but learned to love big brother, er, I mean hannity.

Now, the intellectual dishonesty comes in over the point of education. Hannity hates "liberal indoctrination" of students but this example shows that conservative indoctrination is fine and even encouraged. Demonize one form of "indoctrination" but accept the other,

e) The fairness doctrine: I am against it as a form of legislation. However, they way in which Conservative radio hosts address the issue seems shallow at best. For example, hannity states that liberal would use it to censor conservative talk-show hosts. But, that would not be the case. It would only suggest that if a station gives time to one candidate it should for another. Even if it suggested that a radio or tv show should allow time for one liberal program for one conservative show, you still cannot reach the conclusion that liberals want to censor conservatives.

I am not expecting deep and naunced thought but maybe a little fairness.

f) Mark levin may tie Hannity for the worst radio host ever. On Thursday, Levin began his show with comments from the Democratic Representative that represents Ground Zero. While discussion what legal protections criminal and terrorist suspects should have, the reprsentative in question suggested that on September 10th, 2001 the government would not have been able to detain Mohammed Atta, one of the chief hijackers in September 11th. Levin could not believe this to be the case and decided that the democratic representative is not worhty to serve as a representative, the democrats are bad for the country, or whatever else you can think of.

Logically, Levin's comments present a challenge. Levin wants to detain (maybe torture, who knows these days), people before they commit crimes. What then becomes the determining factor in decieding who to detain: race? religion? color of the eyes? Whether or not the person possesses an Iphone?.

4) While I drove for 30 hours, I spent 1/10 of the trip stuck in traffic within Brooklyn and Queens. I left Staten Island at 4pm and did not reach my hotel in Suffolk county until 7:30.

Welcome to New York.

Reviving the Situation

Okay... it has been over one month since the last post; I do not know how long it has been since my last post.

It is time for a revival.

Daily posts begin today.

Solon

Congratulations San Antonio Sterns!!!!

Cormac McCarthy's The Road: Another Snippet for Everyone, but especially for Solon and Oxymoron

This passage makes Harrogate think of his fellow Board Members, Solon and Oxymoron.

they sat there in silence with their hands outheld to the flames. He tried to think of something to say but he could not. He'd had this feeling before, beyond the numbness and the dull despair. The world shrinking down about a raw core of parsible entities. The names of things slowly following those things into oblivion. Colors. The names of birds. Things to eat. Finally the names of things one believed to be true. More fragile than he would have thought. How much was gone already? The sacred idiom shorn of its referents and so of its reality. Drawing down like something trying to preserve heat. In time to wink out forever.

Just. Stunning.

Congratulations, Cormac McCarthy!!!!!

Cormac McCarthy's incredible novel, The Road, has won the 2007 Pulitzer Prize for Fiction.

It was a long time coming. Mr. McCarthy will surely get a Nobel Prize one day to honor a body of literary output that is very arguably second to none in American letters, past or present.

Here is a snippet from The Road

He loaded the flarepistol and as soon as it was dark they walked out down the beach away from the fire and he asked the boy if he wanted to shoot it.
You shoot it, Papa. You know how to do it.
Okay.
He cocked the gun and aimed it out over the bay and pulled the trigger. The flare arced up into the murk with a long whoosh and broke somewhere out over the water in a clouded light and hung there. The hot tendrils of magnesium drifted slowly down the dark and the pale foreshore tide started in the glare and slowly faded. He looked down at the boy's upturned face.
They couldn't see it very far, could they, Papa?
Who?
Anybody.
No. Not far.
If you wanted to show where you were.
You mean like to the good guys?
Yes. Or anybody that you wanted them to know where you were.
Like who?
I don't know.
Like God?
Yeah. Maybe somebody like that.

None are too busy to squeeze in a little time to read this novel, which is a fast-paced read. Once committing to the undertaking, Harrogate promises, ye won't easily recover from it.

Alice in Wonderland, Grace Slick, (Pete's Couch), and Harrogate

Harrogate's Fans Know Why. Enjoy.

God Bless You Mr. Rosewater

Sad news today: Kurt Vonnegut died. He was 84.

Kurt Vonnegut was the first author I enjoyed while I was young. I remember first reading his some of his short stories in grade school, in either 7th or 8th grade. "The Euphio Question" was the first story I read.

What are your favorite stories/ books/ moements from Kurt Vonnegut?

What I remember most from his work is his discussion of humanism. Two examples: From Slaughterhouse Five (the intro).

"Be Kind. God Doesn't Care whether you are kind or Not."

And from God Bless You Mr. Rosewater:

“Hello, babies. Welcome to Earth. It’s hot in the summer and cold in the winter. It’s round and wet and crowded. At the outside, babies, you’ve got about a hundred years here. There’s only one rule that I know of, babies — ‘God damn it, you’ve got to be kind.’ ”

Imus Aint Funny, But Snoop Dogg Sure Is

Snoop Dogg's statement on the Imus situation is really funny and makes you think, sort of like a passage out of Henry Miller.

Don Imus (hat tip Talk Left for the "dogg-house" picture), Readers will recall, is the rich, old, white male icon of talk radio/television who referred to the Rutgers Women's Basketball team, whose dream season came crashing to an end at the hands of perennial powerhouse Tennessee (Pat Summit thou hast done it again! Way to go! Good ole Rockytop, Rockytop Tennessee!) as "nappy headed hos." Now that the shit has hit the fan (one of the truly great dead metaphors ever) MSNBC has dropped its simulcast of him and CBS meanwhile is perhaps on the verge of yanking Imus off of Westwood 1.

The Rutgers Ladies, meanwhile, appear on Oprah Winfrey today. Harrogate thinks it will be worth checking out, as Vivien Stringer, their head coach, speaks off the cuff as well as any figure in sports--in this way she's the women's b-ball equivalent of Florida Head Coach and Philosophe, Billy Donovan (congratulations Gators, by the way. If you're not a Gator you're Gator Bait, that's what Harrogate hears anyway).

But anyways, Harrogate digresses. In the aftermath many other white conservative pudits have taken care to give the obligatory condemnation of Imus, but then launch headlong into "wondering" aloud why rappers can say these words but Imus cannot. Snoop provides one of several possible answers in the link above. Here is a delightful snippett:

"It's a completely different scenario," said Snoop, barking over the phone from a hotel room in L.A. "[Rappers] are not talking about no collegiate basketball girls who have made it to the next level in education and sports. We're talking about ho's that's in the 'hood that ain't doing sh--, that's trying to get a n---a for his money. These are two separate things. First of all, we ain't no old-ass white men that sit up on MSNBC [which announced Wednesday it would drop its simulcast of Imus' radio show] going hard on black girls. We are rappers that have these songs coming from our minds and our souls that are relevant to what we feel. I will not let them mutha----as say we in the same league as him."

That's just funny, Harrogate don't care who ye are.

Manifestations of Oxymoron

What if readers....?

What if you saw the spiritual, physical, and emotional embodiment of one of the lead authors at the rhetorical situation in a commercial? Would you post it?

As readers, would you want to know more about who we are?

Well, too bad because I will post it anyway.

If you were ever curious about who Oxymoron is, watch this clip.

Hillary, Barak, and Harrogate (no it's not the title of Southpaw's newest erotic novel)

Harrogate just finished watching Bill Maher's Real Time, and early in the program one of Maher's guests, actor D.L. Hughley, stated something to the effect that Americans aren't prepared to vote either a black man or a woman of any race into the White House.

He also stated what will be obvious to anyone not perpetually on Pete's Couch that there's no way Americans are going to vote in sufficient numbers to elect a black President named Barak Hussein Obama.

These are true things, in Harrogate's opinion. Inconvenient things, bigoted things, but true things nonetheless. But what is to be done about it? If a given Dem primary voter really, truly wants to vote, say, for Hillary Clinton, and then doesn't do it precisely because he or she thinks a woman cannot win, well then ladies and gentlemen and people with loud trucks, that's what you call selling out. Nothing unusual there, of course, especially in the world of politics. But often when we liberals sell out we prefer framing it in terms like "being practical," terms which sound better, terms perhaps that make us feel a lot better, but terms that somehow always wind up failing to make it even a smidge less disgusting. What did Cool Hand Luke say? "Calling it your job don't make it right, boss." Yeah. Exactly.

A moral dilemma therefore awaits Dem primary voters in about a year. How they do will remain under the watchful jurisdiction of this award winning blog and its expert editorial board. And Harrogate has it on good authority that Oxymoron will in fact be there with all the predictions and hot tips as we move closer to the moment of truth.

Meanwhile, and fortunately, Harrogate himself will be facing no such moral dilemma. Because he's not one of those millions who inexplicably love Hillary Clinton even though she's proven over and over again to be the prime definition of a panderer.

And Obama? Please. He wouldn't know a position if it hit him in the taint. Circuitous rhetoric is the man's bread and butter: he is everywhere, he is nowhere, and noone ever remembers him ever having said anything substantive--but my oh my and damn he's pretty. And, he raises a lot of money. (And as Senator Biden kindly reminded us, he's clean. And articulate)

No, the only Dem who seems serious at this point, the only one that Harrogate has even a modicum of respect for, is Edwards. Because Edwards has apologized for past sins and has taken clear positions that can be identified.

It's early, way too early even for Oxymoron to make a prediction. But at this point things definitely don't look good for Democrats re the White House: their top two candidates really suck and also suffer from bigotry, and that's a bad combo any day of the week. So the beleagured GOP, of which a majority of Americans are finally getting sick, and a Party moreover which has screwed us over in every imaginable way since Bush's victory in 2000, nevertheless enjoys the upper hand in this early stage. Something dramatic will have to happen to change this.

On a completely unrelated note. Harrogate leaves you, oh Readers, with one of the great lines of show tune poetry:

Noone cares for you a smidge
When you're in an orphanage.

Stay alert, and stay with Fox.

The New Standard for Foreign Policy: The Costanza Doctrine

By leading foreign policy expert, George Costanza.

“If every instinct you have is wrong, then the opposite would have to be right.”

Sweet Carolina

In honor of today's gigantic mathup between North Carolina and Georgetown, Harrogate offers one of the greatest songs, by one of the greatest Rock artists, in the last 15 years. Ryan Adams's original "Oh My Sweet Carolina" was recorded with the peerless Emmylou Harris, but alas, Harrogate could not find a video of the two of them performing it. But here is Adams, tearing it up.

Go Baby Blue!

Congratulations Aggies

As his many fans know, Harrogate for some time now has been consumed by the spectacle of March Madness. A&M's loss to Memphis last night was one of the bitterest pills Harrogate has ever swallowed as a sports fan. The controversial ending didn't help matters, but 'tis time to let that go.

What is in order is congratulations. And gratitude to an Aggie basketball team that made the sport matter in College Station, and likely set the stage for it to matter for years to come. In the middle of their incredible accomplishments this year was the incomparable Acie Law, depicted above walking off the court after last night's heartbreaking loss. His is without a doubt the most important basketball player Texas A&M ever had, and he will be a fine NBA player as well; likely he'll wind up with several championship rings on his finger by the time his career ends.

Bottom line, the tournament is cruel. Very Highlander. In the blink of an eye you are irrevocably gone. Only one team can win its last game. The thing to do as a basketball fan, then (that is if you want to stay sane), is to allow yourself to appreciate what your team accomplishes, rather than what it doesn't. Even perennial powerhouse North Carolina "only" has two national championships following Michael Jordan's magical shot in 1982.

So, A&M, thank you for the season.

And like cruel Nature herself, the Tournament will now March on without thee.

Enjoy the catastrophic finale to come, Readers. Enjoy.

Fundamental Anxiety in the Republic

I am reading through Sanford Levinson's book, Our Undemocratic Constitution: Where the Constitution Goes Wrong (And How We the People Can Correct It).

As I read is, I keep thinking of something my advisor discussed in multiple classes. What is your fundamental fear of the republic? Do you fear power within the hands of the few or do you fear power in the hands of the masses?

Comments?

New Uses for the Confederate Flag

The Mary Brogan Museum of Art in Florida has a controversial exhibit, the John Sims Exhibit. One of the exhibits shows a Confederate Flag hanging from a noose. The title: "The Proper Way to Hang a Confederate Flag.”

The Local Chapter of the SOns of the Confederates wants the exhibit removed. They claim the tax-assisted museum should not be using its money to display this, especially since there is an ordinance, that prevents the desecration of the Confederate Flag. (If there were an ordinance, there is no way it would hold up under Texas V. Johnson).

The Museum states the ordinance allows for the decrative or patriotic display of the flag and will not take the exhibit down. For more, here: here.

Here is a copy of the image:

Bong hits for Harrogate, I mean Jesus

Today, the Supreme Court heard oral arguments in Morse v. Frederick. The case involves a student who displayed a 10' sign that stated "Bongs for Jesus" while watching the Olympic Torch by in a parade. It seems that Frederick's High School let the students out of school to see the Olympic torch pass. Frederick wanted media attention and to annoy the school administrators so he created a banner and used a prase that he saw on the bottom of a snowboard. Fear not: he accomplished both goals; and, in the process, told us a lot about the culture of snowboarders.

The controversy involves a free speech claim that seems frivolous and meaningless versus the school's ability to punish a message that discredits its ability to denounce drugs as being bad and the war on drugs as being good. If Frederick wins, then individuals possess the right to exercise free speech even if the speech is less than meaningful; if the school wins, then the school can limit any speech that the school believes interferes with its "educational mission."

The arguments seem quite comical. According to Dana Lithwick at Slate:

Starr insists that "Bong Hits 4 Jesus" promotes drugs. Justice Ruth Bader Ginsburg asks whether a sign that said "Bong Stinks for Jesus" would be more permissible. Souter asks whether a simple sign reading "Change the Marijuana Laws" would also be "disruptive." Starr says that interpreting the meaning of the sign must be left to the "frontline message interpreter," in this case, the principal. Then Starr says schools are charged with inculcating "habits and manners of civility" and "values of citizenship." Yes, sir. In the first six minutes of oral argument Starr has posited, without irony, a world in which students may not peaceably advocate for changes in the law, because they must be inculcated with the values of good citizenship.

Chief Justice John Roberts wonders why students should be allowed to set the classroom agenda when teachers are trying to teach Shakespeare and Pythagoras. Starr says that in the Vietnam protest case, the school tried to "cast a pall of orthodoxy" by banning student protest. Whereas, he suggests—again without a whiff of irony—that students should be able to offer no dissenting opinions here because drugs, alcohol, and tobacco are bad....

Scalia begins to bogart the argument [from Frderick's lawyer] at this point and asks whether a school that held an anti-drug rally in the gym would have to permit a student to wear a button that says, "Smoke pot. It's fun." Mertz repeats that student protest can't be "disruptive." Scalia retorts that "undermining what the school is trying to teach" is pretty disruptive. Kennedy asks about a student sporting a button that says, "Rape is fun." Mertz says students may not advocate violent crime. This sets Scalia off again. "So, they can only advocate non-violent crime?" he snorts. "Like, 'Extortion is profitable?' " He adds that "this is a very, very, with all due respect, ridiculous line."

On an interesting side note, religious groups are siding with the ACLU and the student. The reason: there is another case that worked its way through the Courts that focused on whether or not a student, who openly defined himself as being very religious, could wear a shirt that was anti-homosexual but pro-religious. According to SCOTUS Blog:

The case involves an incident in April 2004 when a sophomore at Poway High School in Poway, Calif., a community of about 50,000 located north of San Diego, was suspended for a day for wearing a T-shirt with an anti-homosexual message on it. The youth, Tyler Chase Harper, believes that homosexuality is contrary to the teachings of the Bible, his attorneys told the Court. His T-shirt, on the front, read: "I will not accept what God has condemned." On the back, it said, "Homosexuality is shameful. Romans 1:27." [He wore the shirt in the Day of Silence, which was meant to encourage tolerance for gays.]

His appeal contends that he was suspended after school officials told him that the message was inflammatory. His father was told later that only positive community messages from students were allowed under school policy. The youth has since graduated from high school, but his sister, Kelsie, is still a junior at the high school. Because of her brother's graduation, the appeal suggested that the case may be moot. But, on Friday, attorneys for the sister asked the Court to allow her to intervene to keep the appeal alive. The attorneys said she desires to engage in the same kind of expression that led to her brother's suspension.

The Supreme Court vacated this decision, making the lower court's decision [The Ninth Circuit] null and void. The problem is that though Tyler Chase Harper graduated, his sister is still in the school and plans to deliver the same message via the t-shirt. In this case, you have student speech even though some find it tasteless versus a school's right to exclude messages that may disrupt the educational process (though there was no disruption at the school).

I am not sure on either decision. Any thoughts?

The Mind of Harrogate

According to Slate we will soon be able to examine the minds of others. Once we here at the rhetorical situation have that technology, we will broadcast how harrogate perceives the world.

Stay Tuned.

Depressing Thought for the Day...

While political parties rely on "talking points." From Hannah Arendt, The Origins of Totalitarianism:

"The effectiveness of this type of propaganda [totalitarian propaganda] demonstrates one of the chief characteristics of modern masses. They do not believe in anything visible, in the reality of their own experiences; they do not trust their eyes and ears but only their imaginations, which may be caught by anything that is at one universal and consistent in itself. What convinces masses are not facts, and not even invented facts, but only the consistency of the system of which they are presumably a part. Repetition, somewhat overrated in importance because of the common belief in the masses’ inferior capacity to grasp and remember, is important only because it convinces them of consistency in time,” (351).

Enjoy!!! Happy Monday!!!

Sweet 16

With the Texas A&M Aggies now in the Sweet 16, I am compelled to reflect back on their season. In doing so, I must admit that the win against Kansas was a pivotal moment for the team.

Billy agrees...

I watched Borat last night.

It was funny. I highly recommend it to all of our readers. And if you were wondering, chocolate chip cookies go great with the show.

Of Elbows, Madness, and Megadeath (Countdown to Extinction)

Ladies, Gentlemen, and Republicans!

The early stages of madnesss have now set in. In honor of the beginning of the ACC Tournament today, Harrogate posts this awesome magazine cover featuring the incomparable Tyler Hansbrough, upon whose back North Carolina gloriously overachieved last year: and largely because of whom North Carolina this years stands poised as one of several legit contenders to win the whole enchilada.

But let us get something straight, Oh Readers. The Hansbrough image is up here for another, darker, more metaphysically challenging reason. And Harrogate thinks many of you already know what he's talking about. That's right. The elbow. Henderson's elbow at the end of Carolina's sweep of the dreaded Dook Blue Devils. Harrogate would have produced the video of that horrendous, bloody incident, but then he's seen the damned thing what seems like a thousand times by now, and just doesn't wanna look at it anymore.

Now, people are going to say what they're going to say. There's a lot of internet chatter, especially from the usually-noble pro-Carolina legions, to the effect that Henderson hit Hansbrough in the nose on purpose. Harrogate cannot emphasize enough how much he disagrees with that position. While it is impossible to get inside someone's head, Harrogate from the moment it happened gave Henderson the benefit of the doubt as far as intent. That's just the kind of guy Harrogate is. Was it a stupid reckless igorant irresponsible play? Absolutely. Should both teams have eased up at that point in the game? Of course. But sayeth Harrogate: as in life, in basketball attributing malicious intent is a serious thing, a thing to be done only when confronted with concrete evidence. And for what it's worth, Hansbrough himself has spoken out in his belief that the elbow was accidental.

Moving on, briefly. Every March, on Tournament-Opening Thursdays, Harrogate takes care to listen, and listen very closely, to Megadeath's "Countdown to Extinction," the titular song from what is by far their greatest album.

This performance here kicks ass. Harrogate is so delighted to have located it that he could just spit. Damn it's a good song. That opening bass just knocks you on your butt. And the lyrics, so wonderfully pretentious, and yet so authentically troubled all at the same time. And the song, it must be admitted, captures the spirit of what is at stake in these games. Of course, at this stage many teams who lose will still live to fight another day. But most, like Clemson, had better win today at noon (Eastern Time) or it is indeed a matter of going home.

Next weekend the big spectacle will be upon us in full force, beginning Thursday in what is the greatest four day weekend of the year. At that point all will fully feel the true effects of the Megadeath song which Harrogate now brings into your living rooms, offices, and dens. But for now, let us soak in Tournament rivalries, the bad blood of it all, the contempt bred of familiarity.

To paraphrase Mark Wahlberg, Harrogate takes college basketball seriously because it deserves to be taken seriously.

Enjoy the games, Oh Readers. Enjoy the games.

Fight Global Warming: Be a Vegetarian

The United Nations reports that meat production generates more greenhouse gases than all the cars and trucks in the world combined. Accordingly, they argue that a vegetarian diet goes further to combat Global Warming than does purchasing and driving a Toyota Prius.

The smug over Southpark is getting worse...

Madness Appetite Whetter, Gene Hackman Style

Everytime ESPN or any other major sports outlet has a poll to determine the greatest sports movie, Hoosiers seems to win. There are of course a lot of great sports movies out there, and Harrogate would like to know what others prefer.

Rocky has been treated at length on this blog, but for the purposes of giving other movies a chance Harrogate suggests that we leave that one out of the mix. There is after all no way to perfect perfection. Not counting the incomparable Rocky, then, Harrogate's money would ultimately have to fall on a three-way tie between Hoosiers, Bull Durham, and Field of Dreams. Depending on Harrogate's mood, one of these always seems to come out on top. But tis the season for basketball and the sweet nectar of youth, ans so Harrogate provides this famous clip from Hoosiers, a movie based on a true story.

A movie, moreover, that now stands as a primary cultural artifact, a memento of what was once the greatest high school spectacle in the nation--Indiana's Winner-Take-All Basketball Tournament. In recent years that state finally sold out and did the same thing every other state does, breaking things apart into divisional categories, 1-A through 5-A ad nauseum. Which means the Hoosiers story will never happen again.

Problems abound in this fairy tale scene, of course. The bootstrap narrative is something Harrogate has dedicated hmself to combating at every turn. Not because it is inherently bad but because it is like all stories at bottom a lie, and not only that but it is this nation's dominant lie, the one that has always worked to hold down the poor, the obscure, the helpless, those who slip through the cracks and who never had a Gene Hackman figure to inspire or believe in them.

Nevertheless the movie is beautiful also, and this scene is no exception. Notice Dennis Hopper jumping on the hospital bed.

Crucial Updates on the Second Nike Commercial

The Mozart Piece is "Requiem," for those who care.

Also, it has recently come to Harrogate's attention that the Cold Blooded Road Warrior featured in the Second Commercial is indeed Michael Jordan's son. So now not only are High Art and, more generally, Human Achievment at stake: but, Readers, we now appear to be in the midst of Nepotism at it's absolute most fascinating. The Clinton and Bush Dynasties pale in comparison (literally and figuratively).

Anyways, Harrogate loves both of these commercials. He really does. But sometimes what we love is the most dangerous thing of all, so sayeth Harrogate. Leave no stone unturned, leave no SPLIFF unlit, in the pursuit of self-awareness.

Stay alert, and Stay With Fox.

In Honor of the Most Wonderful Time of the Year

The real reason why spring is the best time of year has nothing to do with pitchers and catchers reporting or the fact that college atheletes play through a tournament while schools and television networks make a fortune off of their talents. (And who says slavery is dead?)

No, the real reason why spring rocks---- Hockey. There is 20 games left in the NHL season and playoff positioning is in full gear.

To honor this wonderful time, here is a clip-- a rare clip from Salon.com. This clips shows just how hockey players would dominate other sports.

"Clark the Canadian Hockey Goalie"

Update: the link is now working, though you will need to scroll down. Maybe this clip will work.

Nike, High Art, Mozart, and Harrogate

Oh Readers, the greatest Month of the whole American Year, March, is coming and coming fast.

Soon that maverick intellectual, Harrogate, will be inundating himself and--by extension--The Rhetorical Situation with a prolifera of all things college basketball. The coming tournaments, first the conferences and then the Big Dance--aka the Clearing at the End of the Path--are American spectacles that occupy a level unto themselves. Funny how sitting in front of a television four weekends in a row can give rise to the full spectrum of human emotions. But wait! Harrogate reveals too much, too soon. The regular season is still upon us. Let us organically grow into the moment, for in due time there will surely be, as they say, great wailing and gnashing of teeth. Or something like that.

For now, check out these commercials. The first, a recent classic, maybe the Greatest Shoe commercial ever. It has all the trappings of celebrating the human spirit in the mode of Dionysian Antiquity while at the same time very much participating in the postmodern Appolonian capitalist orgy that is today. It features the proud father Michael Jordan at the end. Jordan's smile may be the single most pleasant to behold, and of course the most lucrative, in the history of American sport. This first commercial knows how to bank on it, baby!

And then, second, Harrogate offers the awesome Nike commercial currently running. The Mozart does its job very nicely. The Goth emotions of it all, the defiance of the heroic Road Warrior who has come to take our candy and eat it right in front of us, the communitarian ethos on the line in this commercial will be palpable even to the most basketball-indifferent of spectators.

Nevada Dems on Crack: LGF Remains on the Fox Teat, Blasts KOS. Harrogate, Meanwhile, Reports. You Decide

Daily Kos has a great entry on why the Reno, Nevada Democrats are on crack for trying to arrange their Presidential Primary Debate to be broadcast (filtered) by Fox News Channel. Check it out, Oh Readers. Do check it out.

Harrogate for all his sexiness and brilliance cannot understand why Democrats keep going onto the Fox News Channel. It remains one of the Great Unanswered Mysteries, it really does.

A similar move would be for an atheist to go a snake handler revival :-P week in and week out to make his passionate case. Sure, the snake people might listen to ye for a while if you're all up in their grill, but only in a very bemused and detached way. And then as soon as you leave the head snake handler will go into his analysis of all the things that were wrong with what you said. Ah, Harrogate and his analogies. How do you perfect perfection?

Meanwhile, those pukes at Little Green Footballs take the opportunity to launch vitriole at Kos while at the same time paying their typical fellative homage to Fox News Channel.

LGF, people, will indeed take your breath away with its level of cesspooldom. The commenters join their Head Lizard in waiting with bated breath for IT to happen, so that they can cheer for the killing of all Muslims everywhere from their tactical positions with the 101st Keyboard Division. They really, really think they are fighting a war and that Charles Johson is a visionary.

Faux News... No Really- Fake News on Fox-- Wait... I give up

This weekend, Fox News will run a comedy show. No, it is not Billo or Hannity. Or Ollie. Or Gibson. Or Brit. Or the Beltway Boys. Or Cavuto. Or...

On Sunday, Fox will broadcast the premier episode of the "1/2 Hour News Hour," trying to provide a "conservative alternative" to The Dialy Show or The Colbert Report. While The Daily Show and The Colbert Report are reactionary, this show will be conservative. I wonder if they will joke about (and support) torture?

So, the fair and balanced show will air at 10pm Eastern, 9pm Central. It is produced by Joel Surnow, the executive producer of 24. Here is a clip from the show that Fox leaked to YouTube. While I am not sure if the clip is funny, the comments under the clip are very entertaining. It seems unfunny because of the delivery (no timing) and poor interaction between the co-hosts. It is hard to judge the material because there is not enough of it and it seems one-sided, which raises the question as to whether or not it is propaganda for the one sided treatement. Also, it relies on a laugh track at certain points.



Here is the intro to the show. Notice the red meat issues for the red states:



I am happy that the show will air this week. I will be discussig parody in class. I have already showed the SNL clips on the presidential debates. I planned on using The Dialy Show and The Colbert Report. Now I have this "alternative."

Today's sign of the apocalypse

While watching the News Hour with Jim Leher, syndicated columnist Mark Shields discussed the Iraq debate in Congrss by stating, "It is the fifth year of the war and the first time Congress debated it." No one disagreed with him,

Last week a student of mine stated in class "now is not the time to criticize and debate the war. W are in war and we must..." (stay the course, remain united, buy lolipops... fill in the blank yourself.

No student challenged her on this position. I don't know if most students don't care or if they they agree with her. If the people don't get to debate this issue, then who does? Isn't that how we got into that mess in the first place-- no deliberation?

Brilliant Insight about Sexual Behavior

I feel guilty for linking to this. This articles is so bad that critcism of it seems unfair. However, if you would like a good laugh, then read "Moral Mayhem."

The articles states that chastity "ain't what it used to be" because of a well-marketed culture and academia. Rather than discuss human nature and the animalistics desires humans possess, or denouce the individual for bad choices, the author states that companies market to perferences of the young and lead people away from traditional understandings of sexuality (Because 50 or 100 or 150 or 200 years ago, everyone knew how to behave-- See Ben Franklin's exploits in France as an example. Wait, I mean, read about the purity of ancient Romans and their orgies. Wait... I mean...Ancient Greece... Wait what about the sexual exploits, I mean purity, in the Bible...Wait. Just forget it.) Further, professors tell students "drink responsibly" or "have safe-sex" rather than "be sexually pure," or "commit to your future spouse with your eyes and heart and body," or "sex outside wedlock is wrong" or "be modest."

But wait, there's more. The articles concludes with

The local result is that when a student enrolls at Texas A&M, he or she becomes saturated in a sexually promulgated community. Revealing dress can be seen around the campus. Sexual appetite, passion, desire, bodies and skin are among the ingredients to the average college party. One walk through Northgate at night will open the na've eye. There, hundreds of students gather to drink and dance. While seeking to "have a good time," many see sexuality and the chance to get frisky on the dance floor as a means to that end. Get drunk. Get wild. Get laid. As long as no one gets hurt, sick, diseased or pregnant, American culture and this school seem to be satisfied.
Pop-culture is teaching this generation to "indulge your sexual fantasies." Academia at the same time is saying, "do what you want, just don't be stupid about it." It seems that, at this point, neither of these influential titans has the courage to say, "stripping might actually be wrong."

What I love most about this article is how is avoids TELLING STUDENTS TO TAKE RESPONSIBILITY FOR THEIR ACTIONS. It is "Pop-Culture" that makes the world bad as if it can be separated from the individual. It is a professor that is wrong for teaching the young generation "do what you want but don't be stupid" not the students who do STUPID THINGS.

Wait-- maybe my problems are not my fault but stem from the editorial. Maybe I should blame the author of the editorial for making the world a bad place.

Welcome to Texas, Circa 1615

Texas law-maker, seemingly theo-crat extraordinaire, and House Appropriations Chairman Warren Chisum expressed interest in reverting knowledge in Texas back to 1615 C.E.

According the Dallas Morning News .
Dallas Morning News, Chisum distributed a flier to all Texas House members that encouraged the state to stop teaching Evolution and teach Creationism. The memo, which was written by Georgia GOP Rep. Ben Bridges, contained a link to the web site, Fixed Earth. According to the website Fixed Earth, you can “Read all about the Copernican and Darwin myths—and their many ramifications to Kabbala based Big Bangism.” You can also purchase the book, The Earth Is Not Moving: Over 400 Years of Deception Exposed! The Bible Told the truth All Along!, which is

But wait, there’s more!!! While you are at Fixed Earth, you can not only read the myths of the universe but also get a great helping of anti-Semitism. For example, if you read about how you can petition your state legislature to remove “evolution science” from public funded schools, you will see that “evolution” is really a religion. In fact, it is not just any religion, it is a Jewish religions and it comes from The “Holy Book” Kabbala. It seems that, according to this web site, Evolution is nothing more than a conspiracy to destroy the Christian Faith by Jewish physicists. I knew Darwin left something out of his texts.

Maybe this means gravity is incorrect and we possess intelligent falling.

On a lighter note, Rep. Chisum thought he carried out a “Good Samaritan” act by distributing the flier. He stated he did not mean to offend anyone and he did not know the website contained anti-Semitic remarks BECAUSE HE DID NOT EXAMINE THE SITE IN QUESTION.

How can a Rep. be this dumb? After living in Texas for five years, I think I have reached my limit with this nonsense. How do these representatives stay in office? He advances a position and does not even check the sources he uses but still thinks he does a good act. Jackass.

Clevon: "I thought you was on the pill or some shit!"

Pirates and Emperors

It's always fun to post something at direct odds with those paranoid--"the prayer rugs are coming!, the prayer rugs are coming!"-- fascist bigots over at Little Green Footballs (Harrogate cannot bring himself to link to the filth of which he speaks, but he does recommend that Readers go there, for it is important to know thine enemy). Sometime long about a month ago, this particular video really upset the Self-Important Head Lizard and all his Kool-Aid-drinking followers that think they're fighting a war from their keyboards. "Nuke Mecca!" they scream. "Has it started yet?" they wonder if anything happens anywhere, fashioning themselves as modern-day Cassandras who will be ready when the "war against Islam" takes to American streets. Such drivel, they're comedic really.

Also, there is a wonderful ubiquity of brand new babies shaping the scene in Harrogate's world these days, and it gets him to thinking "Red State" style, 'bout teaching them there Values. Mommy PhD has been inspirational here, lately blogging about the intellectual development of her young daughter. Harrogate shouts out to Mommy PhD and all other new parents within the megaphone call of this award-winning blog: check out Noam Chomsky working hard for his money in the spirit of Schoolhouse Rock!

Herein, many questions from the Child can be addressed, but the answers don't come easy. What is the difference between an emperor and a pirate?, asks the song. And Harrogate will be damned if he knows the answer.

Schoolhouse Rock!!!!!! Enjoy.

Blood on the Tracks

Harrogate's fascination with movie Westerns goes back longer than he can actually remember. Movies like Last Train from Gun Hill, The Searchers, and Lonely are the Brave kept him up late as a young boy, thinking about what he'd seen. In the midst of such movies one thing you cannot escape is the unfairness of life; nor can you avoid that part in you that wants to be noble in the face of it. The sublimity of the music attending these movies is palpable, too. Take the famous refrain from The Good the Bad, and the Ugly--the song to which, incidentally, Mrs. Harrogate walked down that aisle to marry a crazy fellow who likes to write, and often speak, in the third person.

Nor does the genre lack for moments of dry humor that stick with you forever, like friendly ghosts always ready to be recalled. There is a scene from The War Wagon, for instance, in which John Wayne and Kirk Douglas are talking by a stable, trying to decide if they can trust one another, when two baddies almost get the drop on them. Harrogate says "almost" because their shadows give them away. Our two heroes spin and shoot reflexively, and all you see is the shadows fall and you hear the 'thunk' of their bodies. Douglas and Wayne regard one another critically for a moment, and then Douglas announces, "Mine hit the ground first." To which Wayne replies, with that classic smug half-grin: "Yeah, but mine was taller."

In later years Harrogate realized the real money, for him anyway, was less in the modern movies than in the books, from the early frontier stuff through L'amour, Larry McMurtry, and of course Cormac McCarthy, who remains the current king of the genre at this point. The constructed personality of the storyteller, or narrator, in these works is at least as important as the story and characters. A classic case in point is "Lily, Roesmary, and the Jack of Hearts" from Bob Dylan's classic early 70s album, Blood on the Tracks -- an indelible piece of artistic vision that has occupied Harrogate's "Top Five" since he was ever able to conceive of a "Top Five."

So distilled, this song. The vault robbery at the center of the action remains wonderfully underplayed, almost functioning on a Freudian-subconscious level. "The drilling in the wall kept up," Dylan's narrator intones, "but noone seemed to pay it any mind." Did Harrogate say Freudian? Scratch that. Let us call it a memento mori--"remember you must die"--big drama and power politics may seem larger than life, but that is the greatest heist of all.

The sexiness and the innocence of Lily, the desperation and big-heartedness of Rosemary, the awe-inspiring ethos of Big Jim--this song has it all. Gambling, dancing, troubled childhoods, brutal frontier justice, tragic prostitution, high-stakes business, and the ambiguous line between love and lust all give way in the end to one con man known simply as the Jack of Hearts, whose boys "can go no further" until he is finished with his "business back in town."

The con man is such an important figure in the Frontier Narrative, oh Readers. To be a true frontier con man, among other necesseties: his origins must be unknown and fraught with danger, he must be smooth with the ladies (this is true even though it isn't a rule that he has to be good-looking--he usually is), and he poses an ineradicable threat to even the most powerful and insightful of those occupying conventional society. He is the great destabilizer of the status quo, whatever story is being told, yet he is at the same time absolutely essential to that story: and of course, the narrator is always his complicit double. Even without hearing it, just by reading the lyrics, printed below, one can clearly sense the narrator's fascination with the con man whose story he's telling. There are, indeed, moments where the two figures merge; even though Lily is technically the song's most sympathetic figure, Dylan infuses the entire thing with an ironic sarcasm before which Lily really stands no chance. It is fitting that the whole thing fades out with her thinkin', most of all, about the Jack of Hearts.

The festival was over, the boys were all plannin' for a fall,
The cabaret was quiet except for the drillin' in the wall.
The curfew had been lifted and the gamblin' wheel shut down,
Anyone with any sense had already left town.
He was standin' in the doorway lookin' like the Jack of Hearts.

He moved across the mirrored room, "Set it up for everyone," he said,
Then everyone commenced to do what they were doin' before he turned their heads.
Then he walked up to a stranger and he asked him with a grin,
"Could you kindly tell me, friend, what time the show begins?"
Then he moved into the corner, face down like the Jack of Hearts.

Backstage the girls were playin' five-card stud by the stairs,
Lily had two queens, she was hopin' for a third to match her pair.
Outside the streets were fillin' up, the window was open wide,
A gentle breeze was blowin', you could feel it from inside.
Lily called another bet and drew up the Jack of Hearts.

Big Jim was no one's fool, he owned the town's only diamond mine,
He made his usual entrance lookin' so dandy and so fine.
With his bodyguards and silver cane and every hair in place,
He took whatever he wanted to and he laid it all to waste.
But his bodyguards and silver cane were no match for the Jack of Hearts.

Rosemary combed her hair and took a carriage into town,
She slipped in through the side door lookin' like a queen without a crown.
She fluttered her false eyelashes and whispered in his ear,
"Sorry, darlin', that I'm late," but he didn't seem to hear.
He was starin' into space over at the Jack of Hearts.

"I know I've seen that face before," Big Jim was thinkin' to himself,
"Maybe down in Mexico or a picture up on somebody's shelf."
But then the crowd began to stamp their feet and the house lights did dim
And in the darkness of the room there was only Jim and him,
Starin' at the butterfly who just drew the Jack of Hearts.

Lily was a princess, she was fair-skinned and precious as a child,
She did whatever she had to do, she had that certain flash every time she smiled.
She'd come away from a broken home, had lots of strange affairs
With men in every walk of life which took her everywhere.
But she'd never met anyone quite like the Jack of Hearts.

The hangin' judge came in unnoticed and was being wined and dined,
The drillin' in the wall kept up but no one seemed to pay it any mind.
It was known all around that Lily had Jim's ring
And nothing would ever come between Lily and the king.
No, nothin' ever would except maybe the Jack of Hearts.

Rosemary started drinkin' hard and seein' her reflection in the knife,
She was tired of the attention, tired of playin' the role of Big Jim's wife.
She had done a lot of bad things, even once tried suicide,
Was lookin' to do just one good deed before she died.
She was gazin' to the future, riding on the Jack of Hearts.

Lily washed her face, took her dress off and buried it away.
"Has your luck run out?" she laughed at him, "Well, I guess you must
have known it would someday.
Be careful not to touch the wall, there's a brand-new coat of paint,
I'm glad to see you're still alive, you're lookin' like a saint."
Down the hallway footsteps were comin' for the Jack of Hearts.

The backstage manager was pacing all around by his chair.
"There's something funny going on," he said, "I can just feel it in the air."
He went to get the hangin' judge, but the hangin' judge was drunk,
As the leading actor hurried by in the costume of a monk.
There was no actor anywhere better than the Jack of Hearts.

Lily's arms were locked around the man that she dearly loved to touch,
She forgot all about the man she couldn't stand who hounded her so much.
"I've missed you so," she said to him, and he felt she was sincere,
But just beyond the door he felt jealousy and fear.
Just another night in the life of the Jack of Hearts.

No one knew the circumstance but they say that it happened pretty quick,
The door to the dressing room burst open and a cold revolver clicked.
And Big Jim was standin' there, ya couldn't say surprised,
Rosemary right beside him, steady in her eyes.
She was with Big Jim but she was leanin' to the Jack of Hearts.

Two doors down the boys finally made it through the wall
And cleaned out the bank safe, it's said that they got off with quite a haul.
In the darkness by the riverbed they waited on the ground
For one more member who had business back in town.
But they couldn't go no further without the Jack of Hearts.

The next day was hangin' day, the sky was overcast and black,
Big Jim lay covered up, killed by a penknife in the back.
And Rosemary on the gallows, she didn't even blink,
The hangin' judge was sober, he hadn't had a drink.
The only person on the scene missin' was the Jack of Hearts.

The cabaret was empty now, a sign said, "Closed for repair,"
Lily had already taken all of the dye out of her hair.
She was thinkin' 'bout her father, who she very rarely saw,
Thinkin' 'bout Rosemary and thinkin' about the law.
But, most of all she was thinkin' 'bout the Jack of Hearts.

My Funny Valentine

Linda Ronstadt tears this up.



Dedicated to Harrogate's admiring throng.

Carolina Wins

Last night's installment of the UNC/Duke rivalry was an impressive one, and among other things, reinforced something Harrogate has been saying for some time, now: In the world of college basketball, there is simply no place more difficult to win than on Duke's home floor at Cameron Indoor Stadium. It isn't just when Carolina comes knockin', either. The crazies keep the gym rockin' from the opening tip off, and one can palpably feel their influence and inspiration on the hometown players.

And let us be honest, here: Duke outhustled Carolina last night, they showed more heart. It galls Harrogate to admit these simple truths, but that's the way it seems to be every time those two teams hook up. North Carolina fields better atheletes, runs a prettier offense, and projects a left-of-center ethos: and for all of these things, Harrogate is thankful. Not to mention the fact that its campus is indeed the Southern Part of Heaven. But even with all of this, Duke just plays scrappier. Harrogate tips his cap to the hated rival, they are in a rebuilding year and were desperately overmatched last night, and yet they rose to the level of the challenge and indeed, they led for most of the game.

In the end, though, there was just far too much Carolina depth, with Frazor and Miller coming off the bench to provide crucial guttiness that the starters, for all their superior talent, just couldn't seem to muster. And throughout there was just wayyyyyy too much Brandan Wright for Duke to deal with. Kid is 6'9 but plays like he's 7 feet tall. His wingspan exceeds 7'0 and goes into the 7'3 range. Wright will be a lottery NBA pick whenever he elects to jump ship--let us hope, Readers, that he gives Carolina at least one other year!!! He has a soft touch, hits hook shots and baseline jumpers, runs the floor like a man obsessed, blocks shots, makes the extra pass, pretty much does everything you'd ever want from your power forward. And he does all of this with a smoothness and unflappability that you almost never see in a senior, let alone a freshman.

Little Ty Lawson, another freshman, was pretty awesome at times, too, when he's got his offense going he really does seem unguardable. Still to early to compare him to (Everybody Loves) Raymond Felton and the other great point guards in UNC's hallowed history, but he has that kind of potential.

The rest of February and all of March promise to constitute one helluva crazy ride for the Big Baby Blue, and Harrogate's ready to ride that train all the way to Atlanta. As long as Carolina and Texas A&M do not meet in the Big Dance, Harrogate's pretty sure he can handle whatever emotional devastation awaits in that clearing at the end of the path.

Ta ta, Readers. Ta ta.

Misfits

A lot of people don't know this about Harrogate, but the very first piece of music he ever fell absolutely, madly, in love with, is Misfits by the Kinks. Introduced to the record by his father at the tender age of 10, Harrogate didn't then understand most of the lyrics on the album. For example, the raucus track "Live Life" includes the verse: "Have you heard about the troubles throughout the land/ With the fascists and the left wing militants?/ Out of work executives are killing themselves/ And the I.R.A. are killing everybody else." That's pretty heavy, no?

Yet while Harrogate didn't get the lyrics as a boy, the plaintive, almost desperate sound permeating the record hit a chord with him nevertheless. Harrogate realizes that a lot of people are not familiar with Misfits or indeed most of the Kinks work; beyond "Lola," "You've Really Got Me," "Apeman," and a precious few others, the popular pickins seem to get pretty darned slim. The Kinks, thusly, remain arguably the most underappreciated band in the history of rock and roll, though in their own late 60's-70s heyday, they enjoyed a small devoted following.

The album cover, of course, might well be the greatest ever made. But Harrogate wishes to talk a bit about what he believes to be the crown jewel of the record, a song called "Rock and Roll Fantasy." Ray Davies supposedly wrote the song in 1977 about a week after the death of Elvis Presley, which you can see referenced in the lyrics, printed below. At the time, brother and lead guitarist Dave Davies was thinking about quitting the band and doing something else. This song was a response to Dave, a powerful Rhetorical Appeal that perhaps contributed to keeping Dave on board (a great thing not only for the Kinks, but for Rock and Roll in general, as Dave's experimental guitar style inspired such greats as Eddie Van Halen and Zach Wilde, among others)

Anywho, Harrogate's been thinking a lot about this song, lately. It really points up the raison de etre--as well as the dark side--of cultural production, in Harrogate's award-winning opinion. Staggering numbers of people, after all, take their meaning, and even their will to keep going, from popular art (Eminem speaks to the same thing in "Sing for the Moment"). To a great extent Harrogate has always identified with "Guy in my block" portion of the song. Maybe there are Readers out there who also identify.

The argument of the song seems simple enough, it is two pronged--Ray seems to be telling Dave:

1)We cannot quit because we'll be letting down people like the guy on my block and fans like Dan who have followed us through all the hard times as well as the good ones; &

2)We cannot quit because what if our band is the only thing protecting us from becoming just like these people that depend on us. If we are not to be producers of culture, if we are not to make a contribution, if we are not to impact the world, then really we just become consumers waiting for the next thing to come float our boats. This is not what I, Ray Davies, want, Dave, and I don't think it's what you want either. I don't want to live in a Rock and Roll Fantasy, "hiding away."

Hello you, hello me, hello people we used to be
Isn't it strange, we never changed
We've been through it all yet we're still the same
And I know it's a miracle, we still go, and for all we know
We might still have a way to go

Hello me, hello you, you say you want out
Want to start anew, throw in your hand
Break up the band, start a new life, be a new man
But for all we know, we might still have a way to go
Before you go, there's something you ought to know

There's a guy in my block, he lives for rock
He plays records, day and night
And when he feels down he puts some rock 'n' roll on
And it makes him feel alright
And when he feels the world is closing in
He turns his stereo way up high

He just spends his life living in a rock 'n' roll fantasy
He just spends his life living on the edge of reality
He just spends his life in a rock 'n' roll fantasy
He just spends his life living in a rock 'n' roll fantasy
He just spends his life living on the edge of reality
He just spends his life in a rock 'n' roll fantasy
He just spends his life living in a rock 'n' roll fantasy

Look at me, look at you
You say we've got nothing left to prove
The King is dead, rock is done
You might be through but I've just begun
I don't know, I feel free and I won't let go
Before you go, there's something you ought to know

Dan is a fan and he lives for our music
It's the only thing that gets him by
He's watched us grow and he's seen all our shows
He's seen us low and he's seen us high
Oh, but you and me keep thinking
That the world's just passing us by

Don't want to spend my life living in a rock 'n' roll fantasy
Don't want to spend my life living on the edge of reality
Don't want to waste my life hiding away anymore
Don't want to spend my life living in a rock 'n' roll fantasy

Something to say...

I haven't been posting on the blog very much lately because I haven't had much to say. This all changed tonight. I now have something to say, something to shout from the rooftops. And here it is:

Prince brought it this evening! His performance was the BEST Superbowl halftime show that I've seen.