Friday, April 24, 2009

Things Heard Around the Office

The Unfortunate Statement of the Day: An Office worker and student discuss a professor. The student is upset with the professor though the reason is not given. The student claims that, "lies will be told about me," and the student wants to speak out against the professor to "protect his reputation." The Office worker states that no one really likes him and is a difficult person. Then she states:
"It is very hard to work with gay people. You have to be careful with everything you say. You have to walk on egg shells."

I love the smell of napalm in the morning.


harrogate said...

Wow and double wow.

solon said...

The worst part about this quote is that you can fill an any adjective before the word "person."

I just left my office. I give myself another week of hearing these comments before I publicly tell her what i think about her. Of course, I may be unemployed after that.

Oxymoron said...

Yes, it is difficult to work with gay people. Especially gay men who drag you downtown after work for a few beers (and a few lines, snnnifffff). It usually always turns into all night rave at some club with women wearing go-go boots dancing in cages above the rest of the crowd. And sometimes when you think you're heading home, when things finally wind down at 3a.m., your gay co-worker (also your ride) tells you that he made after-party plans with some people he met that night. So you end up at some guy's mansion in the ritzy part of town. While there, you finally realize what it's like to be an outsider, given that you're the only straight person among a group of gay men. At one point, when it finally comes out that you're straight, the otherwise nice gentleman sitting next to you gets up and moves to a different chair in the living room, all the while looking at you disgust and saying, "Uuhhhggg, you're straight?!" Not able to find a more comfortable place among these nocturnal strangers, you end up sleeping on the floor of one of the bathrooms with the doors locked. Well, you don't really get a lot of sleep. You see, you are awaken by the sound of your co-worker's voice coming from one of the adjoining bedrooms. Are those moans? No, it can't be him in there with another guy--he's married and has a child! Yes, he's flamboyant and most people at work think he's gay, but there's no way. Nevertheless you have to check. So shortly after the moans end and you hear the bedroom door open and close, you unlock and crack the bathroom door and take a peek. The rumors and speculations are confirmed as you see your co-worker curled up in the fetal position with the covers pulled tightly up under his chin. As you can imagine, it's an uncomfortable ride home a few hours later. And it's even more uncomfortable when you meet his wife at the holiday party a month later. Yes, these things can make working with gay people difficult.

thursdaynext.21 said...

What the Hell!

solon said...


I believe that is the exact question I am trying to answer, "What the hell?"

thursdaynext.21 said...


Sometimes questions are so distressing that the wiggly half of the question mark straighens out, suggesting an even deeper level of confusion and frustration. And I do recognize that Hell should only be capitalized if discussing a place (noun), but it sounds like your office is such a place?! (catch that? the squiggly jumped straight. like my eyebrows.)

The Roof Almighty said...

I'm just going to say it now:

My big problem with gay people is that they make terrible bigots.

That's just unAmerican.

The Roof Almighty said...

I had a student claim that she hated her neighborhood because "on one side there are lesbians and everyone else is atheists"

Motherfuckers, since I was 12, I have dreamed of a land full of atheists and lesbians and this CHILD has the temerity to complain.

"Oh, I hate my neighborhood, the smell of the pizza trees so distracts the punning competitions and you barely have time to read fine novels because all of the bikinis need to be inspected. And The Beatles make such a racket when they jam with Prince."

Seriously though, atheists and lesbians? That is what drives you to distraction?

solon said...

It is probably the temptation that makes her hate. Think about it: a probably conservative, Christian girl confronted with the things she fears the most: a loss of order, meaninglessness, desire overtaking authority, and, as my less than PC friend would say, pillow fights, or, in Oxymoron's case, "Tickle Wars."

The pain. The suffering. The humanity.