Alice in Wonderland, Grace Slick, (Pete's Couch), and Harrogate

Harrogate's Fans Know Why. Enjoy.

God Bless You Mr. Rosewater

Sad news today: Kurt Vonnegut died. He was 84.

Kurt Vonnegut was the first author I enjoyed while I was young. I remember first reading his some of his short stories in grade school, in either 7th or 8th grade. "The Euphio Question" was the first story I read.

What are your favorite stories/ books/ moements from Kurt Vonnegut?

What I remember most from his work is his discussion of humanism. Two examples: From Slaughterhouse Five (the intro).

"Be Kind. God Doesn't Care whether you are kind or Not."

And from God Bless You Mr. Rosewater:

“Hello, babies. Welcome to Earth. It’s hot in the summer and cold in the winter. It’s round and wet and crowded. At the outside, babies, you’ve got about a hundred years here. There’s only one rule that I know of, babies — ‘God damn it, you’ve got to be kind.’ ”

Imus Aint Funny, But Snoop Dogg Sure Is

Snoop Dogg's statement on the Imus situation is really funny and makes you think, sort of like a passage out of Henry Miller.

Don Imus (hat tip Talk Left for the "dogg-house" picture), Readers will recall, is the rich, old, white male icon of talk radio/television who referred to the Rutgers Women's Basketball team, whose dream season came crashing to an end at the hands of perennial powerhouse Tennessee (Pat Summit thou hast done it again! Way to go! Good ole Rockytop, Rockytop Tennessee!) as "nappy headed hos." Now that the shit has hit the fan (one of the truly great dead metaphors ever) MSNBC has dropped its simulcast of him and CBS meanwhile is perhaps on the verge of yanking Imus off of Westwood 1.

The Rutgers Ladies, meanwhile, appear on Oprah Winfrey today. Harrogate thinks it will be worth checking out, as Vivien Stringer, their head coach, speaks off the cuff as well as any figure in sports--in this way she's the women's b-ball equivalent of Florida Head Coach and Philosophe, Billy Donovan (congratulations Gators, by the way. If you're not a Gator you're Gator Bait, that's what Harrogate hears anyway).

But anyways, Harrogate digresses. In the aftermath many other white conservative pudits have taken care to give the obligatory condemnation of Imus, but then launch headlong into "wondering" aloud why rappers can say these words but Imus cannot. Snoop provides one of several possible answers in the link above. Here is a delightful snippett:

"It's a completely different scenario," said Snoop, barking over the phone from a hotel room in L.A. "[Rappers] are not talking about no collegiate basketball girls who have made it to the next level in education and sports. We're talking about ho's that's in the 'hood that ain't doing sh--, that's trying to get a n---a for his money. These are two separate things. First of all, we ain't no old-ass white men that sit up on MSNBC [which announced Wednesday it would drop its simulcast of Imus' radio show] going hard on black girls. We are rappers that have these songs coming from our minds and our souls that are relevant to what we feel. I will not let them mutha----as say we in the same league as him."

That's just funny, Harrogate don't care who ye are.

Manifestations of Oxymoron

What if readers....?

What if you saw the spiritual, physical, and emotional embodiment of one of the lead authors at the rhetorical situation in a commercial? Would you post it?

As readers, would you want to know more about who we are?

Well, too bad because I will post it anyway.

If you were ever curious about who Oxymoron is, watch this clip.

Hillary, Barak, and Harrogate (no it's not the title of Southpaw's newest erotic novel)

Harrogate just finished watching Bill Maher's Real Time, and early in the program one of Maher's guests, actor D.L. Hughley, stated something to the effect that Americans aren't prepared to vote either a black man or a woman of any race into the White House.

He also stated what will be obvious to anyone not perpetually on Pete's Couch that there's no way Americans are going to vote in sufficient numbers to elect a black President named Barak Hussein Obama.

These are true things, in Harrogate's opinion. Inconvenient things, bigoted things, but true things nonetheless. But what is to be done about it? If a given Dem primary voter really, truly wants to vote, say, for Hillary Clinton, and then doesn't do it precisely because he or she thinks a woman cannot win, well then ladies and gentlemen and people with loud trucks, that's what you call selling out. Nothing unusual there, of course, especially in the world of politics. But often when we liberals sell out we prefer framing it in terms like "being practical," terms which sound better, terms perhaps that make us feel a lot better, but terms that somehow always wind up failing to make it even a smidge less disgusting. What did Cool Hand Luke say? "Calling it your job don't make it right, boss." Yeah. Exactly.

A moral dilemma therefore awaits Dem primary voters in about a year. How they do will remain under the watchful jurisdiction of this award winning blog and its expert editorial board. And Harrogate has it on good authority that Oxymoron will in fact be there with all the predictions and hot tips as we move closer to the moment of truth.

Meanwhile, and fortunately, Harrogate himself will be facing no such moral dilemma. Because he's not one of those millions who inexplicably love Hillary Clinton even though she's proven over and over again to be the prime definition of a panderer.

And Obama? Please. He wouldn't know a position if it hit him in the taint. Circuitous rhetoric is the man's bread and butter: he is everywhere, he is nowhere, and noone ever remembers him ever having said anything substantive--but my oh my and damn he's pretty. And, he raises a lot of money. (And as Senator Biden kindly reminded us, he's clean. And articulate)

No, the only Dem who seems serious at this point, the only one that Harrogate has even a modicum of respect for, is Edwards. Because Edwards has apologized for past sins and has taken clear positions that can be identified.

It's early, way too early even for Oxymoron to make a prediction. But at this point things definitely don't look good for Democrats re the White House: their top two candidates really suck and also suffer from bigotry, and that's a bad combo any day of the week. So the beleagured GOP, of which a majority of Americans are finally getting sick, and a Party moreover which has screwed us over in every imaginable way since Bush's victory in 2000, nevertheless enjoys the upper hand in this early stage. Something dramatic will have to happen to change this.

On a completely unrelated note. Harrogate leaves you, oh Readers, with one of the great lines of show tune poetry:

Noone cares for you a smidge
When you're in an orphanage.

Stay alert, and stay with Fox.

The New Standard for Foreign Policy: The Costanza Doctrine

By leading foreign policy expert, George Costanza.

“If every instinct you have is wrong, then the opposite would have to be right.”

Sweet Carolina

In honor of today's gigantic mathup between North Carolina and Georgetown, Harrogate offers one of the greatest songs, by one of the greatest Rock artists, in the last 15 years. Ryan Adams's original "Oh My Sweet Carolina" was recorded with the peerless Emmylou Harris, but alas, Harrogate could not find a video of the two of them performing it. But here is Adams, tearing it up.

Go Baby Blue!

Congratulations Aggies

As his many fans know, Harrogate for some time now has been consumed by the spectacle of March Madness. A&M's loss to Memphis last night was one of the bitterest pills Harrogate has ever swallowed as a sports fan. The controversial ending didn't help matters, but 'tis time to let that go.

What is in order is congratulations. And gratitude to an Aggie basketball team that made the sport matter in College Station, and likely set the stage for it to matter for years to come. In the middle of their incredible accomplishments this year was the incomparable Acie Law, depicted above walking off the court after last night's heartbreaking loss. His is without a doubt the most important basketball player Texas A&M ever had, and he will be a fine NBA player as well; likely he'll wind up with several championship rings on his finger by the time his career ends.

Bottom line, the tournament is cruel. Very Highlander. In the blink of an eye you are irrevocably gone. Only one team can win its last game. The thing to do as a basketball fan, then (that is if you want to stay sane), is to allow yourself to appreciate what your team accomplishes, rather than what it doesn't. Even perennial powerhouse North Carolina "only" has two national championships following Michael Jordan's magical shot in 1982.

So, A&M, thank you for the season.

And like cruel Nature herself, the Tournament will now March on without thee.

Enjoy the catastrophic finale to come, Readers. Enjoy.

Fundamental Anxiety in the Republic

I am reading through Sanford Levinson's book, Our Undemocratic Constitution: Where the Constitution Goes Wrong (And How We the People Can Correct It).

As I read is, I keep thinking of something my advisor discussed in multiple classes. What is your fundamental fear of the republic? Do you fear power within the hands of the few or do you fear power in the hands of the masses?

Comments?

New Uses for the Confederate Flag

The Mary Brogan Museum of Art in Florida has a controversial exhibit, the John Sims Exhibit. One of the exhibits shows a Confederate Flag hanging from a noose. The title: "The Proper Way to Hang a Confederate Flag.”

The Local Chapter of the SOns of the Confederates wants the exhibit removed. They claim the tax-assisted museum should not be using its money to display this, especially since there is an ordinance, that prevents the desecration of the Confederate Flag. (If there were an ordinance, there is no way it would hold up under Texas V. Johnson).

The Museum states the ordinance allows for the decrative or patriotic display of the flag and will not take the exhibit down. For more, here: here.

Here is a copy of the image:

Bong hits for Harrogate, I mean Jesus

Today, the Supreme Court heard oral arguments in Morse v. Frederick. The case involves a student who displayed a 10' sign that stated "Bongs for Jesus" while watching the Olympic Torch by in a parade. It seems that Frederick's High School let the students out of school to see the Olympic torch pass. Frederick wanted media attention and to annoy the school administrators so he created a banner and used a prase that he saw on the bottom of a snowboard. Fear not: he accomplished both goals; and, in the process, told us a lot about the culture of snowboarders.

The controversy involves a free speech claim that seems frivolous and meaningless versus the school's ability to punish a message that discredits its ability to denounce drugs as being bad and the war on drugs as being good. If Frederick wins, then individuals possess the right to exercise free speech even if the speech is less than meaningful; if the school wins, then the school can limit any speech that the school believes interferes with its "educational mission."

The arguments seem quite comical. According to Dana Lithwick at Slate:

Starr insists that "Bong Hits 4 Jesus" promotes drugs. Justice Ruth Bader Ginsburg asks whether a sign that said "Bong Stinks for Jesus" would be more permissible. Souter asks whether a simple sign reading "Change the Marijuana Laws" would also be "disruptive." Starr says that interpreting the meaning of the sign must be left to the "frontline message interpreter," in this case, the principal. Then Starr says schools are charged with inculcating "habits and manners of civility" and "values of citizenship." Yes, sir. In the first six minutes of oral argument Starr has posited, without irony, a world in which students may not peaceably advocate for changes in the law, because they must be inculcated with the values of good citizenship.

Chief Justice John Roberts wonders why students should be allowed to set the classroom agenda when teachers are trying to teach Shakespeare and Pythagoras. Starr says that in the Vietnam protest case, the school tried to "cast a pall of orthodoxy" by banning student protest. Whereas, he suggests—again without a whiff of irony—that students should be able to offer no dissenting opinions here because drugs, alcohol, and tobacco are bad....

Scalia begins to bogart the argument [from Frderick's lawyer] at this point and asks whether a school that held an anti-drug rally in the gym would have to permit a student to wear a button that says, "Smoke pot. It's fun." Mertz repeats that student protest can't be "disruptive." Scalia retorts that "undermining what the school is trying to teach" is pretty disruptive. Kennedy asks about a student sporting a button that says, "Rape is fun." Mertz says students may not advocate violent crime. This sets Scalia off again. "So, they can only advocate non-violent crime?" he snorts. "Like, 'Extortion is profitable?' " He adds that "this is a very, very, with all due respect, ridiculous line."

On an interesting side note, religious groups are siding with the ACLU and the student. The reason: there is another case that worked its way through the Courts that focused on whether or not a student, who openly defined himself as being very religious, could wear a shirt that was anti-homosexual but pro-religious. According to SCOTUS Blog:

The case involves an incident in April 2004 when a sophomore at Poway High School in Poway, Calif., a community of about 50,000 located north of San Diego, was suspended for a day for wearing a T-shirt with an anti-homosexual message on it. The youth, Tyler Chase Harper, believes that homosexuality is contrary to the teachings of the Bible, his attorneys told the Court. His T-shirt, on the front, read: "I will not accept what God has condemned." On the back, it said, "Homosexuality is shameful. Romans 1:27." [He wore the shirt in the Day of Silence, which was meant to encourage tolerance for gays.]

His appeal contends that he was suspended after school officials told him that the message was inflammatory. His father was told later that only positive community messages from students were allowed under school policy. The youth has since graduated from high school, but his sister, Kelsie, is still a junior at the high school. Because of her brother's graduation, the appeal suggested that the case may be moot. But, on Friday, attorneys for the sister asked the Court to allow her to intervene to keep the appeal alive. The attorneys said she desires to engage in the same kind of expression that led to her brother's suspension.

The Supreme Court vacated this decision, making the lower court's decision [The Ninth Circuit] null and void. The problem is that though Tyler Chase Harper graduated, his sister is still in the school and plans to deliver the same message via the t-shirt. In this case, you have student speech even though some find it tasteless versus a school's right to exclude messages that may disrupt the educational process (though there was no disruption at the school).

I am not sure on either decision. Any thoughts?

The Mind of Harrogate

According to Slate we will soon be able to examine the minds of others. Once we here at the rhetorical situation have that technology, we will broadcast how harrogate perceives the world.

Stay Tuned.

Depressing Thought for the Day...

While political parties rely on "talking points." From Hannah Arendt, The Origins of Totalitarianism:

"The effectiveness of this type of propaganda [totalitarian propaganda] demonstrates one of the chief characteristics of modern masses. They do not believe in anything visible, in the reality of their own experiences; they do not trust their eyes and ears but only their imaginations, which may be caught by anything that is at one universal and consistent in itself. What convinces masses are not facts, and not even invented facts, but only the consistency of the system of which they are presumably a part. Repetition, somewhat overrated in importance because of the common belief in the masses’ inferior capacity to grasp and remember, is important only because it convinces them of consistency in time,” (351).

Enjoy!!! Happy Monday!!!

Sweet 16

With the Texas A&M Aggies now in the Sweet 16, I am compelled to reflect back on their season. In doing so, I must admit that the win against Kansas was a pivotal moment for the team.

Billy agrees...

I watched Borat last night.

It was funny. I highly recommend it to all of our readers. And if you were wondering, chocolate chip cookies go great with the show.

Of Elbows, Madness, and Megadeath (Countdown to Extinction)

Ladies, Gentlemen, and Republicans!

The early stages of madnesss have now set in. In honor of the beginning of the ACC Tournament today, Harrogate posts this awesome magazine cover featuring the incomparable Tyler Hansbrough, upon whose back North Carolina gloriously overachieved last year: and largely because of whom North Carolina this years stands poised as one of several legit contenders to win the whole enchilada.

But let us get something straight, Oh Readers. The Hansbrough image is up here for another, darker, more metaphysically challenging reason. And Harrogate thinks many of you already know what he's talking about. That's right. The elbow. Henderson's elbow at the end of Carolina's sweep of the dreaded Dook Blue Devils. Harrogate would have produced the video of that horrendous, bloody incident, but then he's seen the damned thing what seems like a thousand times by now, and just doesn't wanna look at it anymore.

Now, people are going to say what they're going to say. There's a lot of internet chatter, especially from the usually-noble pro-Carolina legions, to the effect that Henderson hit Hansbrough in the nose on purpose. Harrogate cannot emphasize enough how much he disagrees with that position. While it is impossible to get inside someone's head, Harrogate from the moment it happened gave Henderson the benefit of the doubt as far as intent. That's just the kind of guy Harrogate is. Was it a stupid reckless igorant irresponsible play? Absolutely. Should both teams have eased up at that point in the game? Of course. But sayeth Harrogate: as in life, in basketball attributing malicious intent is a serious thing, a thing to be done only when confronted with concrete evidence. And for what it's worth, Hansbrough himself has spoken out in his belief that the elbow was accidental.

Moving on, briefly. Every March, on Tournament-Opening Thursdays, Harrogate takes care to listen, and listen very closely, to Megadeath's "Countdown to Extinction," the titular song from what is by far their greatest album.

This performance here kicks ass. Harrogate is so delighted to have located it that he could just spit. Damn it's a good song. That opening bass just knocks you on your butt. And the lyrics, so wonderfully pretentious, and yet so authentically troubled all at the same time. And the song, it must be admitted, captures the spirit of what is at stake in these games. Of course, at this stage many teams who lose will still live to fight another day. But most, like Clemson, had better win today at noon (Eastern Time) or it is indeed a matter of going home.

Next weekend the big spectacle will be upon us in full force, beginning Thursday in what is the greatest four day weekend of the year. At that point all will fully feel the true effects of the Megadeath song which Harrogate now brings into your living rooms, offices, and dens. But for now, let us soak in Tournament rivalries, the bad blood of it all, the contempt bred of familiarity.

To paraphrase Mark Wahlberg, Harrogate takes college basketball seriously because it deserves to be taken seriously.

Enjoy the games, Oh Readers. Enjoy the games.

Fight Global Warming: Be a Vegetarian

The United Nations reports that meat production generates more greenhouse gases than all the cars and trucks in the world combined. Accordingly, they argue that a vegetarian diet goes further to combat Global Warming than does purchasing and driving a Toyota Prius.

The smug over Southpark is getting worse...

Madness Appetite Whetter, Gene Hackman Style

Everytime ESPN or any other major sports outlet has a poll to determine the greatest sports movie, Hoosiers seems to win. There are of course a lot of great sports movies out there, and Harrogate would like to know what others prefer.

Rocky has been treated at length on this blog, but for the purposes of giving other movies a chance Harrogate suggests that we leave that one out of the mix. There is after all no way to perfect perfection. Not counting the incomparable Rocky, then, Harrogate's money would ultimately have to fall on a three-way tie between Hoosiers, Bull Durham, and Field of Dreams. Depending on Harrogate's mood, one of these always seems to come out on top. But tis the season for basketball and the sweet nectar of youth, ans so Harrogate provides this famous clip from Hoosiers, a movie based on a true story.

A movie, moreover, that now stands as a primary cultural artifact, a memento of what was once the greatest high school spectacle in the nation--Indiana's Winner-Take-All Basketball Tournament. In recent years that state finally sold out and did the same thing every other state does, breaking things apart into divisional categories, 1-A through 5-A ad nauseum. Which means the Hoosiers story will never happen again.

Problems abound in this fairy tale scene, of course. The bootstrap narrative is something Harrogate has dedicated hmself to combating at every turn. Not because it is inherently bad but because it is like all stories at bottom a lie, and not only that but it is this nation's dominant lie, the one that has always worked to hold down the poor, the obscure, the helpless, those who slip through the cracks and who never had a Gene Hackman figure to inspire or believe in them.

Nevertheless the movie is beautiful also, and this scene is no exception. Notice Dennis Hopper jumping on the hospital bed.

Crucial Updates on the Second Nike Commercial

The Mozart Piece is "Requiem," for those who care.

Also, it has recently come to Harrogate's attention that the Cold Blooded Road Warrior featured in the Second Commercial is indeed Michael Jordan's son. So now not only are High Art and, more generally, Human Achievment at stake: but, Readers, we now appear to be in the midst of Nepotism at it's absolute most fascinating. The Clinton and Bush Dynasties pale in comparison (literally and figuratively).

Anyways, Harrogate loves both of these commercials. He really does. But sometimes what we love is the most dangerous thing of all, so sayeth Harrogate. Leave no stone unturned, leave no SPLIFF unlit, in the pursuit of self-awareness.

Stay alert, and Stay With Fox.

In Honor of the Most Wonderful Time of the Year

The real reason why spring is the best time of year has nothing to do with pitchers and catchers reporting or the fact that college atheletes play through a tournament while schools and television networks make a fortune off of their talents. (And who says slavery is dead?)

No, the real reason why spring rocks---- Hockey. There is 20 games left in the NHL season and playoff positioning is in full gear.

To honor this wonderful time, here is a clip-- a rare clip from Salon.com. This clips shows just how hockey players would dominate other sports.

"Clark the Canadian Hockey Goalie"

Update: the link is now working, though you will need to scroll down. Maybe this clip will work.