Not Just for Academama's Bemusement. But for All of Our Bemusement.

Ahhh, Sportswriting. The one genre to which dissertation writers in the humanities can turn, to feel less pretentious. As Board Members and Commenters noted last night, the rhetoric surrounding Florida Quarterback Tim Tebow has been fairly stunning of late, to the point that he has been quite nearly elevated to the status of a Christ figure.

In the immediate wake of Florida's victory over Oklahoma, ESPN writer Pat Forde hardly failed to tap into the Tebow worship.

Tim Tebow's victory tour of Dolphin Stadium started behind one end zone and didn't stop until he reached the opposite end. As he walked along, his golden left arm remained aloft the whole way for Florida fans to touch. Men, women and children leaned over to celebrate with their hero, thanking him for delivering a national championship.

Nearing the end of the lovefest, Tebow looked at Florida media relations staffer Zack Higbee, who has spent much of the last two years helping the quarterback navigate the public demands of life as a budding legend.

Tebow said in a hoarse voice to Higbee, "I'm dying, I'm dying. Let's go home."

So many hands to slap, so little energy left. Carrying a team to a title is hard work.

Heh. From what chapter of the New Testament is Forde drawing here, anyway??? But it continues:

Now the indomitable Tebow has two of them -- one as a freshman backup and one as the center of the Gators' universe. Rarely in football does a single player so totally define a team's personality.

He's "indomitable," you see.

Oh yes. And he's perpetually underrated, but also the greatest we have ever seen. Come let us all adore him, and wonder aloud why in the name of Yaweh NFL Scouts continue to doubt this Golden Armed Leader of Men.

And while we are at it, let us Pray Tebow comes back for one more season so that he can

become the No. 1 quarterback in college football history -- at least in terms of accomplishments. Nobody else would be able to match three national titles and two Heisman Trophies if he's able to pull it off.

Yea and verily. Let the Tebow chorus ring loudly enough to drown out America's growing suspicion that College Football is a bottom a Farce.

"Nuclear Toads?" Oh..."codes"...thank g-d!.

Thank you, sir. I like these apples very much.

Update: Its a slight note, but this crystallizes something for me that I wasn't quite seeing before:

The Palin vice-candidacy has been discussed as if it were the heir to Rod Lurie's trilogy of "accidental king" projects: Deterrence, The Contender, and Commander-in-Chief. And, as fits the subgenre, the innate "weaknesses" that define the characters make them powerful leaders of men. Deterrence plays off of the ethnicity of the newly advanced president, The Contender off of the obstinate ethical stubborness of...

But that isn't the story in front of us. That isn't the character trope we are faced with. This isn't even Dave's Dave, nice-guying the world into the future.

This isn't even--and forgive the potentially sexist reference-- The Princess Diaries; this is King Ralph saving Britain through crass mediocrity and pratfalls.

I can see Jack Lipnick selling it: "She's going to misrepresent herself to a victory over the Russians! She'll tell them we already won and they'll buy it! We're talking boffo box office! 'MOOSE CHICK'S NUKES HIT, FIX!'"

Am I actually watching the "fish-out-of-water" trope run for vice-president?