Newswriting & Public Humiliation: How Many Different Ways Can One Guy Get Messed Up Anyway?

After a string of highly serious posts (perhaps most emblemized by Harrogate's Walter Egan tribute) it is time perhaps for some fun, if slightly mean-spirited, celebrity gossip.

The first two words of the headline, "Madonna wins in custody row with Guy", are the most important words in this story.

In that context you gotta love the last sentence in the story. Hmmm. Which reminds Harrogate, A-ROD nowhere to be found in the sublime world of Madge these days. Maybe she discovered that the rumors about steroids "side effects" are not only true, but also not really what one would call a "side effect."

A-ROD, MLB's Newest Scapegoat

Well. Beseball Phenom Alex Rodriguez has just admitted to, and apologized for, using steroids during his stint with the Texas Ranger, from 2001-2003. His primary apology is to the Rangers organization and to the Rangers fans. Hmmmm. So on the strength of this confession, the hysterics about A-ROD's tainted legacy can drop all petense of moderation and kick into full gear.

Witness Rangers owner Tom Hicks, who for one is shocked...shocked! that such a thing was visited upon his pristine organization and that he himself was thus dealt so duplicitously:

I feel personally betrayed. I feel deceived by Alex," Hicks said in a conference call, according to The Associated Press. "He assured me that he had far too much respect for his own body to ever do that to himself. ... I certainly don't believe that if he's now admitting that he started using when he came to the Texas Rangers, why should I believe that it didn't start before he came to the Texas Rangers?"

Ummmm. Okay Tom. Whatevs. Screech all the self-righteous screeching that ye will, and A-ROD can join the ranks of Bonds, Clemens, McGuire, Palmeiro, etc. as big name scapegoats. But as Harrogate has been saying for years, such protests from an MLB owner reek of ridiculousness.

Soon. Oh soon. It will become manifestly clear to far more people than Harrogate and a few others, that Jose Canseco has been the sanest high-profile voice by far on this issue. When Canseco's book first came out, the MLB powers were able to write him off as a disgruntled juicer. Well, he may be disgruntled and he may have been a juicer, but he has still nailed Baseball's proverbial ass to the wall:

In his 2008 book, "Vindicated: Big Names, Big Liars, and The Battle to Save Baseball," Jose Canseco claimed he introduced Rodriguez to a steroids dealer. Canseco, who has admitted using steroids, subsequently said he had no knowledge of any drug use by Rodriguez.

"They are looking in the wrong places," Canseco said in a text message to The Associated Press. "This is a 25-year cover-up. The true criminals are Gene Orza, [union head] Donald Fehr and [commissioner] Bud [Selig]. Investigate them, and you will have all the answers."

When the money was good and the media was ignorant, the Baseball powers, still reeling from the 1994 Strike, had no problem with a practice that led to gaudy statistics and packed stadiums. So please, Readers, don't listen to any of them now when they wax concerned about the "integrity" of the game, or about the dangers of steroid use, or about "the children" who worship these players. Don't believe them, for verily and forsooth, they are the pigs at the trough who only squealed after getting real, real fat.

Harrogate is saddened by the fact that, as an institution, Baseball, a sport which Harrogate grew up loving and which he still on some level deeply loves, has been completely corrupted over the last 15 years. It is time to recognize this, rather than railing against individual ballplayers.

"Dress You Up" Now Counts as Political Music!!!

This was always one of Harrogate's favorite songs by Madge, anyway. Go ahead and make fun of him for it & see if he cares. It's a damned good song, and certainly merits consideration as the new GOP theme song.

You've got style, that's what all the girls say
Satin sheets and luxuries so fine
All your suits are custom made in London
But I've got something that you'll really like

Guy Ritchie Rumors: Give Us Dirty Laundry

Consider the sources:

But the news of a new woman in his life is hardly shocking, as rumors of cruelty and infidelity in the former power-couple’s marriage run rampant.

Click here to see photos of Madonna.

Madonna would reportedly taunt Ritchie by telling him she should have married someone stronger, more intelligent and ambitious. According to Us, the singer would even physically abuse Ritchie by slapping him or poking him.

But Ritchie was hardly a pushover in the relationship and Us reports that he would often call her fat, old, ugly and wrinkled. Ritchie also reportedly told her she was stupid and a terrible singer.

UPDATE: At first Harrogate was going to make this about how FOX loves to smear people. But now he sees it's more than just the NY Post racing FOX to the bottom. Apparently Us Weekly won that race handily:

See photos of Madonna's biggest scandals.

For more on Madonna and Guy - including how they would go months without sex and how Ritchie may not have been faithful during their 7 1/2 year marriage - pick up the new issue of Us Weekly today!

Blech. For Harrogate's part, he's sorry it didn't work out for them, at least as sorry as one can be who didn't know either of them personally. But that's pretty boring headline material, admittedly.

Happy 50th, Madge!

Follow the linky-link to see what Entertainment Weekly considers her 27 best videos.



Verily, in the Grand Old Year of 1985 she Reprised that old adage:

A kiss on the hand may be quite continental
But Diamonds are a Girl's Best Friend

Now Madonna's Pissed

This just in. Madonna's pissed.

Lawyers for Cynthia Rodriguez, the wife of the New York Yankee player Alex Rodriguez said his relationship with Madonna had been "the last straw" before she decided to file for divorce.

The couple's five-year marriage collapsed amid reports of a new friendship between Mr Rodriguez and the 49-year-old pop singer.

Madonna, who denies any romantic involvement with the player, has reportedly told Mrs Rodriguez's lawyer Earle Lilly not to make further statements about her. "Madonna's outraged", a source said.

Will Cynthia back down? OR will she, convinced that Madge and Hubby had indeed, as it were, done the deed, hit back harder than ever.

Madonna, obviously, can take care of herself. And no matter what happens,let us not feel too sorry for Cynthia. This is someone who's about to get paid in a BIG WAY.

As for A-ROD. Harrogate said all along he ought never to have left Seattle.

Alex Rodriguez Divorce Pending, Rumors Continue to Fly About Affair With Madonna

Every now and then, the Harrogate likes to spread a little celebrity dirt. For such an occasion, this serves nicely.

The New York Yankees third baseman, who earned his 12th All-Star selection Sunday, has refused to comment on his relationship with Madonna, who denied any romantic involvement with the slugger in a statement posted Sunday on people.com.

"The petitioner has exhausted every effort to salvage the marriage of the parties," Cynthia Rodriguez said in the filing. "However, Alex has emotionally abandoned his wife and children and has left her with no choice but to divorce him."

Rodriguez's attorney in Miami, Ira M. Elegant, said he had not reviewed the divorce petition but added: "As you know, anyone can pay the filing fee and make allegations."

Elegant also represents NBA star Shaquille O'Neal in his ongoing divorce from his wife, Shaunie.

Two points, here.

1)Damn, Cynthia, them's some strong words. Refreshing. Much better than the typical "irreconciliable differences" claptrap we usually get from the rareified people.

2)Et tu, Shaq?