Why you aren't cool enough. Yes, you. -or- "It's so strange, eye'm more comfortable around U when eye'm naked"

Whether it is the Santa-riding, the fact that he out-James-Browns James Brown, the entire deconstruction of "singing" and "clapping," or the utter chaos he leaves in his wake-- this is the sign you've been waiting for that you should try harder.

Yes, you.

Speaking of Gifts...

This might also work for Christmas.

'Everybody hates a tourist": A secret message for the Republican Party

"They're laughing at you and the stupid things you do"





Well, maybe they will "fail like common people," right, Bill?



"There's nothing else to do."

Update:

Did you want to add something, Keith?

PETA Adds A New Wrinkle to Breastfeeding Discourses

People for the Ethical Treatment of Animals

sent a letter to Ben Cohen and Jerry Greenfield, cofounders of Ben & Jerry's Homemade Inc., urging them to replace cow's milk they use in their ice cream products with human breast milk, according to a statement recently released by a PETA spokeswoman. "PETA's request comes in the wake of news reports that a Swiss restaurant owner will begin purchasing breast milk from nursing mothers and substituting breast milk for 75 percent of the cow's milk in the food he serves," the statement says.

Internal Polling

For fellow Situationers.

1)Do you believe that an Obama Administration would ultimately fulfill McCain and Palin's stated wish that the door be opened for Georgia and Ukraine's entrance into NATO?

2)Do you believe that an Obama Administration would wind up fulfilling McCain's stated intention of putting the United State at war (undeclared, of course) with Iran?

3)If you have answered YES to either of the above. Would you stand by a President Obama, and the Dem Party in general, in such an event?

The McCain/Palin Candidacy as a Metaphor for "Finding" a Fish in Your Penis

At what point do we just shut down and let them lie themselves out of the room because asking them for the truth just feels like we are trying to embarrass them and is too embarrassing for us?

Have they reached that point in lie-telling where they will forever misremember this campaign as what they purport it to be and not as it objectively was?

Thought You Should Know

There's a Notre Dame football player named Golden Tate. No, it's not actually Golden Taint, but the announcers sure like saying it as if it were.

Texas Teens Like Sex

The Associated Press reports that a recent survey reveals that Texas high school students like to have sex.

Yes, it's true! Even though Texas spends more money than any other state on abstinence-only sex education programs (a whopping $17M), federal statistics show that 52.9% of Texas students in the ninth through twelfth grades have had sexual intercourse. This figure is 5% higher than the national average.

There is no word as to whether intercourse with sheep and various other livestock figure into the statistic.